Weird things about my Bipolar
Your results, however, may vary.
- •Sleep does whatever it wants.24 hour coma? Been there. Awake for 3 days? Done that. I still don't have a solid sleep schedule after all these years. Sometimes I wake up at 9am and the next day I won't wake up till 5pm. I do my best to adult my way into going to bed early but then it punishes me with crippling insomnia soon enough.
- •It can make me ridiculously creative.We're talking full books in weeks and ideas for 19 more. It can also take away all that mojo in an instant. It's the little engine that will or won't whenever it damn well wants to.
- •I have a ton of cred online and negative cred in real life.This was really surprising to me. On the internet I'm told I'm brave for talking about it, get links to things people want me to read, and -oddly- my posts seem more genuine when I actually use social media. While in real life admitting it has gotten me such things as "like Charlie Sheen?", "Does that mean you're legit crazy?", and the ever popular, "Don't commit suicide." I still don't know why the two worlds are so different.
- •Sometimes it gets bad.One time I was convinced the American Idol season finale was going to kill me.
- •Sometimes it gets tasty.One manic episode I had wanted me to learn how to cook. So I did. Forever useful. Thanks, mania!
- •Most of the time is kind of mundane.My bipolar isn't rapid changing and my medication keeps me mostly even. Most of the time when it acts up it feels like a general fog in my head. And exhaustion. Oh God, the tired.
- •Focusing on one thing is hard.For example I currently have 10 lists in drafts that I keep jumping to and from depending on how I feel, while playing two games on my computer and watching TV while also playing a game on my phone.
- •Fighting my own brain is always an interesting experience.I'm lucky enough to have a lot of awareness about my Bipolar and can usually tell if I'm a little off... well, logically anyway. Emotionally my brain believes the offness so my logical side and emotional side go to war over who's right. I imagine them as bitter conjoined twins. One wanted to be a docter. The other wanted to be a clown. They became an accountant. Now they hate each other.
- •It gets better.I went completely off the walls crazy for a few years (maybe I should make a very awkward list about that some time) and it took a lot of work to get to the other side of the hill. You know, the side that isn't all dead and brown with weird fog rolling in forever and spooky music in the background. It took a long time (7-8 years long) to get to that side but it did get better. It won't ever go away but at least I'm mostly normalish. Mostly.