TEN ITEMS AROUND SPIEGLER'S HOUSE
Spiegler (my best friend/porn agent) had back surgery last week. He's home from the hospital, and I'm staying with him as his 24/7 caretaker until he's up and walking. These are random items around his house.
- •Chick Fil A Sandwich from YesterdayHe won't let me throw it away, or put it in the fridge.
- •Disgusting TShirtsToday, when we were waiting for the physical therapist.... Spiegler: "I don't want to scare her, I need to wear my least offensive shirt." Me: "That's very thoughtful." Spiegler: "Grab me the one that says 'BANGBROS' across the front."
- •AwardsThere are trophies lying around everywhere. They belong to girls who are too lazy to pick them up. The gold one to the far right is mine.
- •Baseball Bat by the DoorBecause representing 25 whores can get out of hand.
- •Snow Globe Featuring UsI got this for his birthday one year. You can't see it here, but it's inscribed "For my Pimp, Spiegler."
- •Original ArtworkI own a few pieces myself, they are hanging in my dressing area at home.
- •Dana DeArmond PenThis fancy limited edition pen features world famous pornstar Dana DeArmond in her favorite red dress. Turn the pen upside down for a naked surprise! I used it today to calculate what percent 20/1200 was, for my WRITING A BOOK IS list.
- •Galley Copy of my First Book, INSATIABLEThe bookmark is a receipt for $76.06 from Michael's Burgers.
- •United States Postal Office Mail BinsI feel like he shouldn't even have these. There are two of them, full of (seemingly) random papers and envelopes. I once asked him if there was any order to the documents... He answered, "Yah. The old ones are at the bottom, the new ones are at the top."
- •Original PricassoA painter who goes by "Pricasso" sent this to us. It's painted using solely the artist's penis. We try not to touch it too much.