"THE VOICE" COACHES IN ORDER OF WHO I'D CHOOSE IF I WERE A CONTESTANT

Does anyone else watch this show?
  1. 1.
    Adam Levine
    He wasn't always my first choice, I'm not that into him musically and he is the least fuckable on the show mainly because he is too conventionally good looking. But when it comes down to it, I think the most important element of the competition is song choice - and Adam is very good at assigning the right music to the right artists. He's also the most competitive, eloquent, and serious of all the coaches.
  2. 2.
    Pharrell Williams
    As a producer, I think he can hear things that the other coaches cannot. He also has the best advice and most encouraging tone. Bonus: probably the most beneficial relationship to have once the show is over. Unrelated: most husband-material coach.
  3. 3.
    Blake Shelton
    Not a country music fan and not sure how much he actually provides as a coach but Blake is the most fuckable one simply because he is HILARIOUS. This choice would be one made strictly by my vagina.
  4. 4.
    Christina Aguilera
    The only coach to ever be on the show with the voice to actually win as a contestant. As much as I am a fan of hers, as much as I am most excited for the seasons with her on, as much as it makes me shriek with joy when she randomly bursts out in song, I don't think she makes the best coach. Like that saying: "those who can't, teach..." She's the other end of that. Also highly fuckable, especially with weight on.
  5. 5.
    CeeLo Green
    Again, the producer thing is appealing, he can be creative where others may not. But meh.
  6. 6.
    Tie: Shakira, Usher
    Whatever.
  7. 7.
    Gwen Stefani
    As much as it pains me to say it (because I love her as an artist,) she is just the worst coach. She kind of adds absolutely nothing to the show. She says the same three things over and over. I can't.