THINGS I WISH I COULD LIKE

There are so many popular things I can't get on board with, even if I try, which I have
  1. Sushi
    It seems like what cool and hip people eat, but I am scared of fish like a dumb loser.
  2. Brown liquor
    I wanna be classy as fuck! Alas I'll just be pounding vodka shots the whole night, trying to avoid actually having to taste the alcohol while still getting its effects.
  3. Camping
    I dunno, I feel like I want to connect to nature, but camping is sooo annoying. Why can't I be earthy?
  4. Perfume
    Again, elegant people wear perfume. But I just get sick smelling it...
  5. Horror movies
    I pussy out of every horror movie, and wind up having to ditch friends who all get to hangout and watch it. Damn you, weakness for gore!
  6. Cream filled donuts
    That disappointment when the last donut left is cream filled, I just want to feel joy! Why can't I be happy?
  7. Flowers
    This one makes me sound really cynical, but I cannot dissociate flowers and severe pollen allergies. To me, flowers literally smell like red, watery eyes and sneezes. Fuck flowers