TOP 7 MOST FUCKED UP THINGS MY DEAD GRANDMA SAID WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE

  1. 1.
    "Any man who wears cornrows hasn't definitely hit a woman, but he HAS definitely thought about it."
  2. 2.
    "If you look a gay person in the eyes they might cut your throat."
  3. 3.
    "Don't go to Africa because they got bugs as big as my fist that'll lay eggs in your face while you're sleep."
  4. 4.
    "If bleach gets on your skin, your whole body will turn inside out. I saw it on the Discovery channel."
  5. 5.
    "Will you answer the phone? I'm too old to talk to white women anymore."
  6. 6.
    "I tried to watch that Scandal show, but it was making me feel warm and stuff, so I cut it off."
  7. 7.
    "If you wake up, but you can't open your eyes or move your body, that means a demon is sitting on your chest. Just go back to sleep."