Greatest Open Mic Mishaps to Date

Some of the most painful moments from the dark side of open mics (**indicates my own follies)
  1. **Trying to open a set with a "that's what she said" joke.
    Apparently she didn't say anything particularly funny.
  2. Ending a bombed set with with a graphic 9/11 joke two weeks in a row.
    He took 2 months off after this.
  3. Doing a full 6 minutes on Tuesday night about the Sunday morning shooting in Orlando.
    It was a benefit show for the OrlandoFund. The crowd involuntarily hissed after punchlines.
  4. **Telling the room full of comedians you're one of the best in town when it's your 5th time on stage.
    For some reason the crowd was really unresponsive that night.
  5. Stare straight at the only black person in the crowd while explaining that Air Bud should have been a black lab.
    Can't believe she left after his set! It was the first comic up that night.
  6. Give a first timer sound advice, set up your DSLR on a nice tripod, and bomb hard as hell.
    He gave me advice, then taught me a real lesson; never listen to that guy.
  7. Perform your first set AFTER a group of best friend comedians spends 3 hours roasting the best performer in town for his growing away party.
    He certainly did not kill.
  8. **Perform in the 23rd of 24 slots in a Tuesday night open mic
    It was well into Wednesday morning before I took the stage to a crowd of the host and #24.