THINGS I HAVE THOUGHT WHILE AUDITIONING ACTORS

To be clear, only one of my pilot script ever made it to production but I auditioned a fuck ton of people.
  1. I'm so sorry you have to do this.
    The inequality of the relationship is painful.
  2. You are incredibly brave.
    No way I could ever get up in front of 3 people and bare my soul like that.
  3. All the real tears in the world don't mean shit if your face doesn't move when you cry.
    I get the pressure women in Hollywood are under. I wouldn't be able to handle it for a minute. I'm short, chubby and wrinkled already. But it is just too hard to read real emotion on a frozen face. Especially in HD.
  4. I love those boots.
  5. I'm sorry.
  6. The studio is making me audition people even though they intend to cast X, and it kills me that this exercise is pointless but you are still putting your all into it.
  7. You are so pretty. How are you so pretty.
  8. All four of my brothers totally wanted to fuck you when we were kids. I can't wait until you're done so I can call them and gloat.
  9. Gum? Seriously?
  10. Thank god we are videotaping this because it's all just starting to blur.
  11. Back in seventh grade when I wanted to be an actor, I had no fucking idea what courage and fortitude it took.