THOUGHTS I AM HAVING IN THE PARISIAN DOCTOR'S WAITING ROOM.

  1. Fuck you Joel Robuchon
  2. Remember Clan of the Cave Bear? Fire is the whole point!
    Tartar. Blech.
  3. If they sell codeine over the counter why can't they sell Ambien over the counter?
    Truth? All I need is some weed. But try asking one's delightful hosts for that
  4. At $20 an hour I am paying $2400 to my babysitter in order NOT to see Paris.
  5. This man's legs are so much smoother and sexier than mine.
  6. Having waited so long it's tempting to ask about all hypochondriacal symptoms but I'm wearing boots and my jeans are too tight.
    I don't want to peel them off to show her the definitely malignant spot on my calf.
  7. Is it racist to think these two people are together just because they're both Asian?
    If they're together I only have another 45 min to wait. If they aren't I will shoot myself. Or I suppose I could make another list.