THOUGHTS I AM HAVING WHILE WAITING FOR MY BAGS AT CHARLES DE GAULLE

  1. Fuck you Osama Bin Laden
    If it weren't for him and his bombers I wound be able to take a bottle of Devachan one condition in my carry on and I'd be in Paris by now.
  2. When is this provigil going to kick in?
  3. Is the yellow "priority" ticket just a cruel Gallic joke?
  4. It's very possible that my husband will one day turn into a dapper old Frenchman.
  5. I should have taken these compression socks off on the plane.
    All this because I want to have trim ankles.
  6. How is there no coffee??
    If they are going to make us wait for 90 minutes for bags they should give us caffeine!!
  7. At least I've finally cracked the night flight cocktail!
    Two ambien. Precisely enough to guarantee 7 hours sleep.