WAYS THE CODEPENDENT SURVIVE WHEN THEIR PARTNERS ARE OUT OF TOWN FOR THREE WEEKS AND A DAY
- •Start watching bad TV at 8.The bottom of the barrel has now been scraped so utterly clean. I need something new and it's only been a week.
- •Read an entire novel in a night.Lauren Graff's newest. Out in the fall, I think. Absolutely fucking great.
- •Cook one elaborate meal.I am a terrible cook and rarely if ever make dinner, but at least once while @vanzorn is gone I like to prove to the kids that I'm not utterly useless in the kitchen. This time it was chicken under a brick. It was great.
- •Order in from every high-end chef delivery service.I've tried them all. Standard Fare is by far the best. But you have to pay a $40 for the pot if you forget to return it.
- •Fail to shower for 3 days in order to earn a bath.Fucking drought.
- •Have an existential crisis.Actual text I sent him: "I want to ask you right now. With no bullshit. Am I a decent writer? Should I continue? Or is it time to think about spending my life doing something else. Like good works or something?" Poor guy is in a studio in the woods trying to focus on his book and he's having to deal with this shit.
- •Sit very quietly next to the dog and wait for her to fall asleep.She's making this weird, annoying clicking sound in the back of her throat and I want to record it and send it to him because maybe she's sick or something.
- •Stick to your intolerably ascetic inflammation diet all day and then eat an entire bowl of popcorn with 1/3 of a cup of butter dumped on it.I blame Abe. It was his idea.