1. I am so glad you called. Yes, I am thinking about some home improvements. We are hoping to build a dungeon. Is this something you can do? I'd like a place to put telemarketers that call me all the time and try to sell me things. Hello?
  2. General rule of thumb; Once I realize it's a sales call I begin to bark
  3. I had lots of day jobs along the way so please don't take this personally because I know you are trying to make a living, but if you never ever, ever called back again, that would be so amazing.
  4. No. I do t have any carpets to clean but our slaughter house could use a good scrubbing.
  5. Home improvement? I'm so happy you called. My grandfather just died and I'm having him stuffed by a taxidermist. Can you build a glass mausoleum where we could put him on display in the yard so people could come by and pay tribute? Hello?