Inspired by @Lindi list: . For the record I wish none of these upon any of you. Except one of you - you know who you are. EDIT and I had tagged people who were the inspiration but then deleted them so nobody was left out but somehow they got alerted so sorry about that? πŸ™ŠΒ―\_(ツ)_/Β―
  1. β€’
    May you be unable to connect to WiFi.
  2. β€’
    May your Uber smell like a dirty diaper filled with Indian food.
  3. β€’
    May your iPhone shut off at 45% battery.
  4. β€’
    May your Twitter feed be filled with ads.
  5. β€’
    May your emails show always unread.
    Getting closer people! @alligeeshow πŸ˜„
  6. β€’
    May the wind be always in your face, and someone taking a selfie be always in your way.
  7. β€’
    May your list get 1,000 Suggestions and 1 Like.
  8. β€’
    May your Google search history be sent to your family.
  9. β€’
    May your food delivery never arrive.
  10. β€’
    May your car backup camera stop working.
  11. β€’
    May your friends always want to split the check and then never have cash.
  12. β€’
    May the buzzer for your apartment ring in someone else's.
  13. β€’
    May the Whole Foods never have your favorite produce.
  14. β€’
    May your assigned parking spot be always taken.
  15. β€’
    May your shower have only cold water.
  16. β€’
    May your selfie stick burst in to flames.
  17. β€’
    May your train always be late.
  18. β€’
    May your List App secret Santa gift get lost in the mail.
    Too harsh??
  19. β€’
    May your mother friend all of your Facebook friends.
  20. β€’
    May your Instagram feed be only pictures of political yard signs of the candidate you dislike the most.
  21. β€’
    May your flight be always delayed.
  22. β€’
    May your Amazon Prime deliveries always be 2 days. Late.
  23. β€’
    May the x on your AutoCorrect be too small to touch.
  24. β€’
    May your Netflix disconnect with 3 minutes to go.
  25. β€’
    May your iTunes be suddenly populated with only an unwanted U2 album.
  26. β€’
    May all your digital photos have unfixable red eye.
  27. β€’
    May your Tinder be only ugly hairy dudes.
  28. β€’
    May your tax returns be always audited.
  29. β€’
    May all your Apps crash.
  30. β€’
    May you only be able to receive calls from solicitors.
  31. β€’
    May all your recorded shows be deleted before you watch them.
  32. β€’
    May all your iTunes songs disappear.
  33. β€’
    May all your Twitter followers suddenly unfollow you at once.
  34. β€’
    May you never receive a comment or like on any pictures you post to Facebook.
  35. β€’
    May you always be late to your casting call.
  36. β€’
    May you wake up two hours earlier than the time your alarm is set for and be unable to go back to sleep.
  37. β€’
    May you step on a Lego piece while barefoot.
  38. β€’
    May your iPhone only ring once, no matter what you do to fix it.
  39. β€’
    May your List App comments always be mistaken as negative.
  40. β€’
    May your incoming incoming calls always turn on your screen camera.
  41. β€’
    May you never find a Vegan alternative lunch option.
  42. β€’
    May your yoga class be full of hot guys.
  43. β€’
    May your yoga class be full of really ugly women.
  44. β€’
    May all your List App drafts disappear.
  45. β€’
    May your your selfies add 15 pounds to your face.
  46. β€’
    May your iPhone keyboard shrink to half its current size.
  47. β€’
    May your list request be used as inspiration by a List App OG to low-key accuse you of being a hacker.
  48. β€’
    May your Spotify only play Yoko Ono.
  49. β€’
    May your Apple Watch burn your wrist.
  50. β€’
    May your headphone cords be forever tangled.
  51. β€’
    May your favorite band break up.
  52. β€’
    May you never get a list request.
  53. β€’
    May your FitBit not count every third step you take.
  54. β€’
    May you be only able to text via emoji.
  55. β€’
    May your list requests go unfulfilled.
  56. β€’
    May you be unable to find your keys, and when you do, may they be covered in bacon grease.
  57. β€’
    May your favorite show suddenly be only available in Canada.
  58. β€’
    May BJ Novak never ❀️ one of your lists.
  59. β€’
    May your house plants begin to smell like vomit.
  60. β€’
    May your bathroom mirror make you look 20 lbs heavier than you are.
  61. β€’
    May you forget every episode of The Office you've ever seen.
  62. β€’
    May your TV remote disappear forever.
  63. β€’
    May your dishwasher stop working.
  64. β€’
    May you find BeyoncΓ© unattractive.
  65. β€’
    May your abbreviations always be misunderstood.
  66. β€’
    May your blog entries be erased.
  67. β€’
    May your flights be filled with farting passengers.
  68. β€’
    May your favorite ballpark be torn down for a new, modern version.
  69. β€’
    May your favorite podcast be cancelled.
  70. β€’
    May your children's movies start with 20 minutes of un-skippable previews.
  71. β€’
    May you find Adele's music unappealing.
  72. β€’
    May you have ideas for great lists and then forget them before getting them in to drafts.
  73. β€’
    May your car refuse to play music from your phone via Bluetooth or auxiliary cable.
  74. β€’
    May you bump into the entire group One Direction but not realize it until after they're gone.
  75. β€’
    May your conference call mute button never actually mute your line.
  76. β€’
    May blinking red lights turn solid red just for you.
  77. β€’
    May all your favorite t-shirts shrink in he wash to an unwearable size.
  78. β€’
    May your Keurig stop working after an all-nighter.
  79. β€’
    May you always find an empty toilet paper roll after finishing on the throne.
  80. β€’
    May all your Webex sessions turn on your webcam without you knowing.
  81. β€’
    May Starbucks refuse you service.
  82. β€’
    May your deodorant smell lovely to you, but awful to others.
  83. β€’
    May your sunglasses fail to block the sun, especially UV light.
  84. β€’
    May all GPS apps take you to the wrong location.
  85. β€’
    May you always be the last person to pull up to the 4-way stop.
  86. β€’
    May your favorite fast food chain close.
  87. β€’
    May all the overhead bins on all your flights be too full for your carry-on.
  88. β€’
    May the line for the bathroom be longer than you can hold your bladder.
  89. β€’
    May all your left turn arrows be red.
  90. β€’
    May you lose your iPhone power cord.
  91. β€’
    May all your public toilet seats be warm.
  92. β€’
    May your dinner reservations be lost.
  93. β€’
    May your backpack straps break.
  94. β€’
    May none of your AA batteries work.
  95. β€’
    May all your texts be replied to with only "K."
  96. β€’
    May the movie you're going to see have started 15 minutes before you sat down.
  97. β€’
    May all your Google searches yield 0 results.
  98. β€’
    May you forget your AppleID password and have to create a new profile.
  99. β€’
    May you never have any of these curses be placed upon you!!!