This is subjective (duh) and based on a few factors, like: level of attractiveness, reason Jerry stopped dating her, and whether I would want to date her (if I were Jerry in this Utopian scenario). Jerry was quite the prolific dater. πŸ’ is the scale of marriage-worthiness.
  1. β€’
    Laura - The Seinfeld Chronicles
    933810de fc80 4275 86f8 d8a26944b380
    YOU'RE ENGAGED! No, I won't go on a 4-hour boat tour of Manhattan with you!!!🚫
  2. β€’
    Angela - Season 3, The Good Samaritan
    D715e1b8 d218 4d6f 9ae0 2f0aa28dfb7e
    High on the πŸ¦‡πŸ’©-crazy scale. Would likely be wild AF in the bedroom. I'd be curious where one date would go, and I'd actually like her to call me "cuss face." 😊
  3. β€’
    Sandra - Season 4, The Cheever Letters
    714f15b9 1302 461f bd72 608633d02054
    Can't take some whispered sexy-talk after starting it? GTFO
  4. β€’
    Gennice - Season 6, The Understudy
    0e51a3bb 3ea7 4d48 9aaa 031749896fd0
    Crying over a hot dog?!?!!!!?!! You and the mom jeans can hit the bricks, sweetheart.
  5. β€’
    Lisi - Season 9, The Frogger
    Cf4a70cc 80f7 41fe bec1 10cbedd4b8d4
    Crrrrrrrrrrazy! Not interested in wearing Amish hats with you, dear - buh-bye. I'll risk it with the Lopper.
  6. β€’
    Naomi - Season 4, The Bubble Boy
    Dc30a3bb dbf0 4e4d ad53 4cb28da214ab
    That laugh is a deal breaker. Do not want.
  7. β€’
    Sophie - Season 9, The Burning
    565e3768 891f 497d a54e 1683ac23d47d
    The tractor story - what an idiot. Not really doing it for me looks-wise either; pass.
  8. β€’
    Sandi - Season 4, The Pilot
    Cd58f4f0 a363 47e2 a071 88bbdc804458
    More πŸ¦‡πŸ’©-crazy, not even close to the right amount of Elaine.
  9. β€’
    Katya - Season 6, The Gymnast
    C40cfe9b f04c 4158 bdeb fc85387bc42d
    Annoying-as-hell gymnast, I have no interest in that hair, accent, or increased flexibility. #SorryNotSorry
  10. β€’
    Marla - Season 4, The Virgin & The Contest
    A777af43 5698 4f42 92f9 033188ad004b
    The Virgin who gave it up for John-John. She works in closets and has a British accent, but even after dropping the V-card she has no experience. Pass.
  11. β€’
    Shelly - Season 6, The Doodle
    384b1845 dbb9 4d8d b5ba 39a62f33b224
    Don't like her hair. Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―
  12. β€’
    Gina - Season 3, The Suicide
    5333e1c4 841d 4323 ad9e 337356f930b9
    A little older, the accent is hot but her choice in men (Marteeen?) is suspect and I'm not digging her look. Pass.
  13. β€’
    Nina Stengel - Season 9, The Betrayel
    Ea8d530f 4fad 4c18 8fed 28bc68a8df8e
    She's cute but having been with George and Jerry there's too many complications I'm gonna have to move along.
  14. β€’
    Donna Chang - Season 6, The Chinese Woman
    B149f557 9bdc 443e 9b95 325247adf1b2
    Just your average white chick trying to pass off as a wise Asian woman - natch. Thanks but no thanks.
  15. β€’
    Cindy - Season 9, The Maid
    1baeb297 f6bb 4237 a1a9 618eb7ca6745
    From Maid To Order - it's a pun. Can clean my house any time, but not sure the "extras" are for me since she could be giving the same services to other clients....
  16. β€’
    Gwen - Season 9, The Strike/Festivus
    9328f26f a4ef 4a60 b369 d8b2478ceaea
    A two-face, and they're both bad.
  17. β€’
    Gail - Season 4, The Shoes
    41882502 22de 42cd a322 37650da5316c
    A chef with a weird fixation on Elaine's shoes - those cancel out and I'm left with looks, which are meh.
  18. β€’
    Holly - Season 7, The Wink
    905c2585 a259 4acd 888f c3e72a4f30d4
    Related to Elaine so you know there's some dysfunction just below the surface. I dig the meatatarianism, but Mutton is too much. And enough about Grandma Memma already!!!
  19. β€’
    Celia - Season 9, The Merv Griffin Show
    Bf724412 0821 490c b906 1cd4ada329d9
    Who has that many old toys in their living/dining room?!
  20. β€’
    Hallie - Season 7, The Friars Club
    272cd2fc 8b58 47f8 befd 2737e09d56b0
    Very pretty but friends with Susan - blech! No go.
  21. β€’
    Gillian - Season 8, The Bizarro Jerry
    Cc41c146 9a69 4004 89ae 927e3c57ecd0
    Man Hands. Deal-breaker.
  22. β€’
    Tawni - Season 5, The Conversion
    71c424ca e05b 4d81 b9c1 be6c7e387556
    Way too baby-voice, but cute. Not my cup of tea, baby.
  23. β€’
    Sheila - Season 7, The Soup Nazi
    3ea1538b 0944 4975 8975 2cc744293cc4
    The Shmoopies would get old rrrrreeeeeaaaalllll quick. Too manic okaythanksbye.
  24. β€’
    Alex - Season 8, The Muffin Tops
    82b35a52 827f 468c a26e 3c0c4009af19
    Loves hairless and just looks mean - I'm out.
  25. β€’
    Lanette - Season 8, The Summer of George
    F0ff942a 95f4 430a bbc3 db7dacdfd26a
    Love Her drive and looks, don't love the Dude.
  26. β€’
    Winona - Season 5, The Cigar Store Indian
    79350e5b e2e8 4f03 9ac7 7ad95773528e
    Pretty, I'm not sure I could avoid accidentally offending her somehow either unfortunately...
  27. β€’
    Sara - Season 9, The Slicer
    F56ddcc7 bf1d 4043 871f 3f7eeec834f5
    Pimple-popper MD!! Bonus for the red hair, but not making the grade compared to those above her on the list.
  28. β€’
    Mulva (JK it's Dolores) - Season 4, The Junior Mint
    B097b5cb da2c 4b7f 9983 96cdad6d13bc
    Not really doing it for me looks-wise, and other than having a name from the 1920's nothing terribly wrong with her. Meh.
  29. β€’
    Abby - Season 8, The Fatigues
    E50c8ba9 d07f 47fc 979c fdcec7c5352f
    The whole Bania/mentor thing is a turn-off, despite the pretty face. Maybe one date?
  30. β€’
    Lois - Season 6, The Race
    67442e8f e76e 4b6b aafe e3e2f1eb00f1
    Good name, bad hair, good face - net positive. Hung up on the past though, who GAS About who won a foot race in school 20 years ago? Would date.
  31. β€’
    Jodi - Season 5, The Masseuse
    D9e32a37 497f 454a 8626 e06cfe6da52e
    Stifler's mom won't submit to forced massage, and that's just mean. You're a masseuse!!! That's like being a chef and never cooking at home. WTF?
  32. β€’
    Sargent Cathy - Season 6, The Beard
    148b3637 fdd6 4cd5 bdfd 4f4a09944b67
    Pros: handcuffs and gun. Cons: manlier profession than mine.
  33. β€’
    Claire - Season 9, The Voice
    E4adb333 217a 4b7b a3fa f28f8a4b66b4
    Her belly button is adorable and I'd have a hard time not doing the voice "helllllllooo, la la la" - one date is as far as I'd get.
  34. β€’
    Laura - Season 5, The Lipreader
    7668f794 9e77 44d9 960f 811ddd6699cf
    Hearing it not, she's hot, and having a Lipreader *would* be cool...
  35. β€’
    Melissa - Season 9, The Apology
    Ef267b68 8148 4243 807b b0ea9781e573
    Cute and naked, but it's true - there's good naked, and bad naked. And I'm in the bad naked category; would like to give it whirl but I imagine I wouldn't last long before she kicked me back into the clothed dating pool.
  36. β€’
    Karen - Season 6, The Chaperone
    81c9683c 0f6b 42c7 b035 58e50e93cb73
    Sweet girl, albeit tone deaf AF. I'd want to see the birds but the chaperone is a nonstarter. Pretty face, bad hair, middle of the pack....
  37. β€’
    Nina - Season 3, The Letter
    F0ee1898 e973 4c75 9514 695bd649f7fa
    I'd remain interested long enough to get in to the Yankees owners box (via her father), would probably buy some terrible art out of guilt.
  38. β€’
    Rachel - Season 5, The Raincoats 1 & 2, The Hamptons, The Opposite
    D63dba40 54ad 4bf2 9103 42f78f594886
    Saw George's frightened turtle, and is willing to make out in a movie theater. Dumps Jerry but I want to give it a go....
  39. β€’
    Christie - Season 7, The Seven
    3d095b58 3924 42ce a292 f1d1edbcbeec
    More bonus points for being a ginger, she can wear the same dress with me - for a while. Then it's πŸ‘‹πŸΌ
  40. β€’
    Lena - Season 7, The Sponge
    862b8536 4ea0 4217 8aa3 01519a1161fc
    Getting her number from Jerry, who got her number from the AIDS walk list - I want to see if I'm sponge-worthy!
  41. β€’
    Melanie - Season 7, The Engagement
    95c21476 baf6 45f9 a375 69ac5d784107
    Pretty. Eats her peas one at a time. Must know more, must see more!
  42. β€’
    Margaret - Season 6, The Big Salad
    F73d53f5 4f33 4ffc 9941 d5c8429a69c7
    A natural beauty, no need for makeup - ginger bonus points. Unacceptable for Newman, don't think that would really bother me. Would date.
  43. β€’
    Audrey - Season 5, The Pie
    82cc5e5f ed9a 4dfb 970e 9ac8b2550c5f
    Won't eat pie and related to Poppie - 2 strikes. Not sure what the 3rd strike would be, but because she's hot I'm willing to invest in a few dates to find out.
  44. β€’
    Jeannie - Season 8, The Invitations & The Foundation
    D25341f2 a7ab 49ba adcd 7d097af9570e
    Sooo much like Jerry this would entertain me for a long time....
  45. β€’
    Marlene - Season 1, The Ex-Girlfriend
    5edf81de 54e4 4ffd a9ec 096cd7aa9552
    Hot, bonus points for Southern accent. Not much in the way of career aspirations. 2 or 3 dates max.
  46. β€’
    Isabel - Season 3, The Nose Job
    052e63bf d83f 46c9 a07c bf105c55d5aa
    Soooo hot but dumb, I'd have to break it off after a few dates.
  47. β€’
    Beth - Season 8, The Yadda Yadda
    2e4c093c 711f 4be7 94b3 b64329d22a3e
    Special spot in my ❀️ for her, as when Will & Grace was still on my wife got her as doppelgÀnger all the time. Too bad she's a racist. 😟
  48. β€’
    Sharon - Season 4, The Outing
    1f9e69c5 c452 4599 bcb9 e7a7d2603c42
    Stuck in the middle of Jerry and George's weird homosexual are they or aren't they, she seems like a nice girl. Would date.
  49. β€’
    Vanessa - Season 1, The Stakeout & The Stock Tip
    1eaa8a1c 0df3 48ac 958a 78c6416b4e4f
    Nice lady, pretty face, smart and witty, she works at Simon, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. Don't take her to a B&B in Vermont too early in the relationship.
  50. β€’
    Tia - Season 4, The Pick
    C11c7456 7540 4ea3 9884 b9f31be44751
    Very pretty model, Kramer can STFU about his perfume scent ("The Ocean"). Making sure not to pick my nose around her, I'd date her as long as she'd let me, knowing that eventually she'd get bored of me or the travel would be too much or she'd catch me picking my nose. I can't not.
  51. β€’
    Donna - Season 2, The Phone Message
    C89fe1dc d36e 44cb 8fd1 79e5069858d1
    Very pretty, don't know much about her other than her affinity for Dockers commercials. Need (and want) to see more.
  52. β€’
    Jenna - Season 8, The Pothole
    5e4666ea 682e 471c a7aa bf93d7cc4ac6
    Sooo 😍😍, but is a real toilet water magnet and also dated Bania. I'd give it a try though.
  53. β€’
    Sandy and Laura - Season 6, The Switch
    Ec978e60 5cc2 40eb b940 ee10c2cb87f8
    Counting them together, post Jerry mΓ©nage convo. You know it's going to end poorly and they'll end up not living together, but you gotta. You gotta!!!
  54. β€’
    Bridgette - Season 5, The Diplomat's Club
    91b6d121 4bea 4376 bdcf b927f29195c9
    A supermodel who is DTF in the Diplomats Club - πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ!!! Ride this train as long as she'll let me stay on board.....
  55. β€’
    Nikki - Season 7, The Calzone
    582a4c41 af7d 4166 8dec 2a5020e2c024
    Yes please!😍 Hot and knows it, which would get annoying after a while. She probably just lays there, but I'd like to find out....
  56. β€’
    Sidra - Season 4, The Implant
    D1738404 cd84 4750 bf1e c4debd5d6269
    This goes back to the Lois and Clark days - she's hot.😍. I don't know that I'd agree with "spectacular," but they are real. A little too uptight for me but we would have fun while it lasted.
  57. β€’
    Jane - Season 5, The Stall
    E8d9e2a0 d22e 484c b2f6 ee4b8b1ff8db
    On one hand, couldn't spare a square; on the other hand, knows how to talk dirty and gets paid for it. The bathroom is thunderdome, so dirty talk wins out for a few dates - not pretty enough to crack the top....
  58. β€’
    Pam πŸ’ - Season 8, The Soul Mate
    C1e5bd3b 6334 48b5 92ba f6cbd4194404
    She can bring home the bacon a fry it in the pan! She's got a Meryl Streep thing going on and is a big reader. Ginger bonus, but I'd have a difficult time trying compete with Kramer and the velvet scrunchie.....
  59. β€’
    MerylπŸ’ - Season 5, The Wife
    E8c5b058 4614 45e4 b722 302f314825ba
    Jerry couldn't handle the pressure of the fake marriage; I'd hang in there longer than he did, but only because I wouldn't move as quickly down the fake aisle.
  60. β€’
    AmyπŸ’ - Season 5, The Glasses
    797ba447 3014 46ec ad65 4881aed0471e
    Hot and wrongly accused of kissing Jerry's cousin due to George and his glasses issue (quick aside - the "no glasses" thing is right up there with "no cell signal" for me as far as lazy plot devices. I'm legally blind but my eyes don't turn in to kaleidoscopes without my glasses/contacts...I digress) - want to date and see where it goes....
  61. β€’
    ValerieπŸ’πŸ’ - Season 8, The Millenium
    Ed8c8354 5778 4b4f 9929 f42b248182b9
    She can put me anywhere she wants on her speed dial! 😍 I would love spending the Newmanium with her. She already knows how to rank things in a list, so bonus li.st connection.
  62. β€’
    Elaine Benes πŸ’πŸ’ - Every Season
    Bc65c557 4f2a 42bf b1bb e9f7f2dec812
    I know I know, how could she not be #1?! I could look past the dancing, the narcissism, her intimidating father, her roster, all of it because she's ELAINE and JLD is 😍😍😍😍 and the comedy; but to live a full and happy married life, I'm afraid we'd have to work on mellowing out a little. If #1 and #2 don't work out, not a bad place to end up....
  63. β€’
    EllenπŸ’πŸ’πŸ’ - Season 8, The Van Buren Boys
    3c491ef6 1564 4c0b a999 e89aee0d57f1
    Perfect. Hot, smart, funny. Must lock it down ASAP. Jerry doesn't like how perfect she is - he's an idiot. I'd rank her 1b if li.st would let me.....
  64. β€’
    Patty πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’ - Season 9, The Serenity Now
    98146d70 60ae 420e 9e7a 062e65fd32a1
    😍😍😍. So what if she wants me to show some emotion? Happy to! I'll eat flan with her at La Caridad every meal if that's what she wants!!! 10/10