Getting Old

Turning 40 in May, and it's coming on fast. Here are some things that are becoming evident about getting old.....
  1. Nose hairs
    Why did they just start randomly growing longer (and darker), pushing their way to the sunlight like a weed in the middle of a giant parking lot? Does reaching my upper lip get them upgraded to mustache status??
  2. Ear hairs
    I cannot explain how it feels to put your phone to your ear and feel something tickle randomly, at random times; it's a combination of tickle, anger, annoyance, perplexion (yes I'm making up a word), and shame. Once finally located and removed, it's shocking how long and thick it typically is. nose hairs are impressed.
  3. Eyebrows
    If left unchecked, they will resemble Fangorn Forest. Quickly.
  4. Talk radio and podcasts
    Slowly but surely I'm now almost exclusively listening to sports radio while driving and podcasts while mowing, driving, and working out (LO to the L!).....
  5. Balding
    The yarmulke of thinning hair has really started showing up in pics more and more.
  6. Grey Hairs
    I keep it high and tight (see "Balding"), but am starting to see some on the temples. They're way more visible on my chin, and it's a bit of an obsession to pluck them.
  7. Being called "sir" and not being carded (like, ever)
    Unless the waitress/bartender is smart and wants a good tip
  8. Wanting a Corvette
    When did this happen? Am I balder/grayer than I think I am? I'm too young to drive a vette!!!!!!