Inspired by @karlalucia - waaaaay past deadline 😬
  1. Have you heard the amazing news?!??
    George Clooney and his wife Amal are having TWINS!!!!!!!!
    Beyoncé and Jay-Z are having twins too!!
    This is the most unprecedented, tremendous thing ever!!
  4. But wait.
    That's 2 babies at the same time. That's double the work!! That's 2 bottles, and 2 diapers, and 2 cribs, and 2 car seats, and 2 of Ev.ery.THING!!!
  5. You guys, that's going to be SO. HARD. for them!
    Like, so hard. How will they do it?! I mean, that's so much WORK!! and the lack of sleep! And making bottles, and meals, and doing so much laundry, and cleaning, and how will they keep up looking so fabulous and being in movies and putting out albums and performing?!? How will they do it?!?!???
  6. They won't have to.
  7. Celebrities pay people to do everything for them.
  8. You think they put together those amazing outfits and nursery pictures when they were preggers?
  9. You think they make diaper runs at 3 am and clean 💩 out of onesies and warm up bottles and try and get them to sleep at the same time and run the dishwasher and make a meal for the other kids and keep up schedules and clean the house and take their cars in for an oil change?
    Newp. They're busy working out 3 times a day and advertising products and Instagramming and doing photo shoots while their hired assistants/maids/chefs/nannies take care of the fun stuff.
  10. They'll try and sound relatable in an interview. Here's some cute ones:
  11. "I use humor instead of getting into that whole yes and no thing all the time. It's about just getting them to laugh rather than getting in power struggles." - Marcia Cross
    Yes I'm sure the nanny appreciates you leaving the boundary-setting to her - and your kids teachers are going to LOVE them.
  12. "Look, Daddy got a gold sippy cup for you!" - Jay-Z
    Wow. Slow 👏🏼 for Dad Of The Year, Hova.
  13. “I only do what my gut tells me to. I think it’s smart to listen to other people’s advice, but at the end of the day, you’re the only one who can tell you what’s right for you.” - Jennifer Lopez
    It's kind of insulting to call your staff "my gut" but hey, whatevs.
  14. "I love changing diapers." - Beyoncé
    One a day is still considered "changing diapers," so I guess we can bow to her parenting acumen. So real.
  15. “There’s something really empowering about going, ‘Hell, I can do this! I can do this all!’ That’s the wonderful thing about mothers, you can because you must, and you just do.” - Kate Winslet
    And then she sat down and wrote all the checks. No - she told her Assistant to write the checks.
  16. “I think being a mother made me realize how maternal the role of director is. It made me much calmer under stress.'” - Natalie Portman
    Looking at it this way must make directing the army of people at your disposal much easier.
  17. "The absolute [greatest] thing about being a parent is that every day is a fresh start. You always can say, 'Today we're going to try this!' And, if it goes horribly, you can say, 'Today we're throwing that out, and we're trying this!' That's part of what I like about being a mom in general." - Jennifer Garner
    *avoiding comment about ex-husband and the nanny*
  18. I could post these for days. The point is, I'm not even close to being fooled.
    And you shouldn't be either.
  19. So celebrities - come here.
  20. Until you can survive feeding 3 babies bottles on the floor while they sit propped up on pillows at 3:00 am and have to change them and burp them and get them all back to sleep in the same room....
    Every night while keeping a full-time job and caring for an older sibling and maintaining/cleaning a household and keeping groceries/supplies up and keeping your cars running and washing bottles/dishes so you don't run out and walking the dog and being a husband/wife and taking people to Dr. appointments and keeping a different schedule for each family member - all with little/no help? Or hell, just one?
  21. You're cute.