Ranking the Toes on My Right Foot
Because my left foot is unworthy of ranking. No pictures, lest they be confused as Dick pics (that dog don't hunt on List App)
- 1.Second ToeYou know, the one next to the big toe - pointer finger if this was a hand or if I was an ape. Longest, most symmetrical, thinnest, and the source of my otherwordly dad speed.
- 2.Fourth toeThe ring toe? Is that what it's called? I call it Ricky Bobby - if you ain't first, you're last. You can do it Fourth toe, next ranking!!!
- 3.Middle toeSomeone had to come in third.
- 4.Big toeThe biggest, ugliest toe. And that nail - disgusting. And there's like 3 hairs at the knuckle, WTF is that?!? You're why we can't wear flip-flops in public.
- 5.PinkyHow many times are you going to get stubbed/snagged/jammed before you get it together? It's bad enough you're always going "wee wee wee" all the way home like a weirdo. The pain you've caused me through the years....