Unranked. Profiles provided by me, an Assistant Coach. Team name: Rockies. Team game: chaos.
  1. Static
  2. Drew 7
    Smallest of the Tripocalypse™; wants to field every ball badly, cries when it doesn't come to him or someone beats him to it; best arm and bat of all the 4 year-olds. Most likely to: cry.
  3. Bobby 7
    Willing to participate in the field for .5 seconds, then wants to wander; very interested in batting, but then wanders or stands and admires his hit no matter how much audible encouragement is aimed his way; holds the bat appropriately but unwilling to take instruction. Most likely to: wander.
  4. Max 7
    Most athletic of the a Tripocalypse™, but most likely the put his glove on the incorrect hand; least able to catch or throw, but unwilling to take instruction; runs to the correct base(s). Most likely to: kick dirt to create epic dust-storms.
  5. Isaiah
    Willing to listen and learn; as a 5 year-old, clearly has an older brother and/or parent coaching him. Chases every ball hit, even when playing 1st base. Most likely to: cause an injury chasing a grounder.
  6. Colton
    Only Leftie on the team; 5 years-old so understands all concepts of the game, but too timid to chase balls hits slightly away from him (or tell his coach he's being set up to hit on the wrong side of the tee). Most likely to: play 1st base.
  7. Brayden
    4 year-old who wants to catch everything with his bare hand; takes instruction well; obsessed with snacks and unwilling to wait until after the game; wants to grasp the barrel of the bat. Most likely to: jam a finger on a grounder.
  8. Dillon
    Head coaches son; also 5 years-old and understands the concept; bats with hands spread on the handle no matter how many times he's corrected. Most likely to: pick his nose.
  9. Nathan
    Parents clearly practicing "free-range" technique, as this 4 year-old listens only to his inner voice; maniacally focused on throwing dirt and distraction; never has a glove on. Most likely to: lose an eye to dirt/rocks thrown himself.
  10. Ryan
    Aggressive 4 year-old; focused and obsessive about chasing the ball, even after hitting it himself; wants to play patcher (a position 6 feet in front of the plate) to ensure he gets the ball. Most likely to: collide with Isaiah.
  11. Hudson
    Adorable 4 year-old whose mom bought him a left-handers glove even though he's right-handed; hits and throws well, but always runs to third once hitting the ball. Most likely to: accidentally hit a teammate with a bat.
  12. Ryce
    Floppy-blonde-haired 4 year-old classmate of The Tripocalypse™; older brother has taught him well; fastest boy on the team. Most likely to: run all four bases unless stopped.