WAYS YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE LIKE YOUR DOG
We love them both with all our heart, with good reason. They're basically the same.
- •You talk in a different voice around them.Who's a good wife?? You're a good wife!
- •You give them rubs.Usually on the back or rear end
- •You whistle at them.
- •You raise your voice when disappointed.
- •You don't understand their fashion.And never try.
- •You get annoyed when they yap too much.
- •You constantly affirm them so they'll like you.
- •You comfort them when they're scared even though you're secretly annoyed.
- •You take them out to show them off.
- •You get jealous if they give other guys attention.Stop scratching my wife's ears, Doug!
- •You hold their bags for them.
- •You get upset when you find their hair in random places.Basically you can never wear black
- •You spend way too much money on them.
- •You have to get them both a license to keep them.