EMBARRASSING MISTAKES I'VE MADE

  1. 1.
    Watching six episodes of Sliders because I thought it was Quantum Leap.
    I really thought I knew which one was Scott Bakula.
  2. 2.
    Listening to a two-hour podcast interview with Henry Rollins because I thought he was Richard Dawkins.
    I know now that Rollins and Dawkins are different, mainly in that Dawkins is older.
  3. 3.
    Mistaking a Nic Cage quote from "National Treasure" for a Nic Cage quote from "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets" while in a hot tub full of beautiful partygoers.
    I feel just terrible about this.
  4. 4.
    Insisting for years that the lyrics were "Don't go Jason Waterfalls."
    My neighbor bought the CD just to shove the stupid liner notes in my face. Still, you can't convince me someone in TLC hasn't dated a guy named Jason Waterfalls.
  5. 5.
    Killing a pigeon on a middle school camping trip with a Ping five iron.
    I was just trying to scare it away from my tent and now I can't go camping without being preyed upon by a ghoulish pigeon-ghost. Oops!