Cannabis Thoughts: The Difficult Word

September 3. Dosage: mild.
  1. I was cleaning up some old boxes, and I came across some stuff from when I was about thirteen.
  2. It brought a certain feeling back, that exciting feeling I had back then of not knowing which direction I would go in life, of a million possibilities.
    The world was so big it was overwhelming.
  3. Feeling that again after so many years was intensely powerful — there were moments I almost sort of had to catch my breath.
  4. But of course it's time to say goodbye to this old stuff now. And it's tough.
    I should have done it long ago.
  5. But that difficulty isn't what this is about.
    Everyone knows the difficulty of saying goodbye just as well as me.
  6. It's more an acknowledgement of growth — the fact that I CAN do it, even though it's hard.
  7. In the past I held on too long, not letting go. I guess because I didn't see the positive side.
    Wallowing in nostalgia!
  8. Hey, don't turn away, I'm better now!
  9. I'll take the pain, to move forward.
    It'll pass.
  10. It's something we do for ourselves and each other.
  11. There's another lesson for me here too, though.
  12. Part of the pain of the past is the feeling of missed opportunity, I think.
    Did we really wring every last drop of joy out of life?
  13. So the lesson is: be present.
  14. Whatever you do, try your best to do it all the way.
    Not distractedly, not by halves.
  15. It's not easy. But that's okay!
  16. If anyone reads this: be well. I'm rooting for you.