What you learn living off the land

  1. After a disastrous patrol where the heavy armor got compromised and VC were pelting us with mortar fire
  2. Some trees on our route caught fire, don't even know if it was the mortars or god damn Paulsen being sloppy with his RPGs. Whoever gave that man bombs deserves to get a dishonorable discharge
  3. But the fire line spread quick, isolated me from the outfit, and once all the god damn smoke starts clogging your lungs only thing you can think is to get the hell out of there
  4. The problem with running away is you don't know what you're running toward. Not long after I got swallowed up by that godless jungle I ended up right in VC hands, some rat bastards just camped out waiting for some hapless jackass like me to come running in
  5. Didn't stay a POW long. See they underestimated what a man can do given a slight chance.
  6. I kept a straight razor in my boot for fixing myself on the fly. Command don't like it when you're looking shaggy. But I kept it extra sharp for special occasions like this one
  7. Dumb VC bastards wore God damn sandals out on patrol. Even with my hands tied didn't take long for me to reach in my boot and slash an Achilles' tendon of the nearest son of a bitch with a submachine Gun. Snatched and laid waste like a free man would
  8. But I had no idea where the hell I was. They'd been leading me what felt like nowhere for hours
  9. Scavenged what I could from the bastards. Plotted my course- 276 miles to the nearest American base
  10. Over the course of those days you learn a few things about the land and how much of an animal you really are
  11. The greatest advantage man has is numbers. When you're alone it's just you against the earth and the earth is a nasty bitch
  12. Fire becomes your greatest ally and greatest tell. Announce to the world your advantage and the bottom feeders will stalk just outside your perimeter
  13. Covering yourself in mud and dung is a fast way to stay off radar
  14. Hunger comes in waves. Might get lucky with a mango or two. I preferred finding something walking to cook up before the big cats caught sniff of it
  15. Beasts love to test you. I got an A+ on my exams and their throats were my report card
  16. But mostly what I learned is that man doesn't like it when you live off the land and forget your place in mankind
  17. Showed up at the base- Air Force, bunch of pussies- covered in shit, leaves, and blood. Don't even know how much it was my own
  18. They tried to offer me a shower. I said I wasn't done being a beast
  19. And I'm still not done