SIGNS OF INNER EVIL IN A HALLMARK MOVIE, OR: I'M HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Hallmark movies do not deal in moral grey areas, making them perfect for the holidays, which do.
  1. Being in finance/banking
  2. Disliking cats or dogs
  3. Disliking children
  4. Wearing your hair pulled back in a severe bun, with no wispy face-framing tendrils
    Bonus if you are second in command and drunk on power
  5. Snapping your fingers at servants/servers
    Probably also a sign of inner evil in real life.
  6. Coming from money
    Can be overcome by ostentatious humility or being actual royalty
  7. Having an Ivy League degree
    See above
  8. Being fashionably dressed and also a woman
  9. Being a model and also a woman
  10. Wearing "too much" makeup or no makeup at all (and also being a woman)
  11. Suffering from an apparent inability to smile and/or feel joy
    Pretty sure the editors are told to scour the footage for any latent likeability/humanity that the actors failed to stamp out in their performances.