Ways I, An Extremely Klutzy Person, Have Injured Myself
This is weirdly dark, but my klutziness does feel li.st worthy.
- •Falling out of a shopping cart, age 1Actually did this twice. I'm the oldest, if that tells you anything. Experimental kids unite!
- •Falling down the basement stairs, age 2It's really a miracle I reached adulthood.
- •Falling off my bunk bed, age 5The bed had a rail on it. My parents didn't know whether to be impressed or horrified.
- •Falling while roller skating, age 11Most of these involve falling. Sprained my wrist and was fairly dramatic about it.
- •Crashing into a wooden dollhouse in my living room while performing a dance routine set to Smashmouth's All Star, age 12In my defense, it was the early 2000s. I knocked one of the eaves off and managed to impale my foot on it. This one was more horrifying than it was impressive.
- •Literally just walking in my garage, age 16Broke my toe on a railing that I somehow forgot existed?
- •Getting *lightly* hit by a car while biking, age 20Sliced my hand up, but gave the driver the thumbs up afterward, I think to let her know I was mostly o.k.? Proof I'm capable of awkwardness in any situation.
- •Falling off a bar stool while hanging Christmas decorations, age 24Now my hip hurts when it's going to rain, which is I'm sure what guys look for in a 26- year-old woman.