COMMANDS I GIVE MY DOG THAT SHE IGNORES

Don't fart in here.
  1. Stop kissing that person who just came into the apt.
  2. Let's watch this HGTV show together on the couch.
  3. Don't even think about it!
  4. 5. Chris: Our first date was to go see a performance of "The Last Five Years," a musical about divorce. Why it didn't work out: Got incredibly high (2nd highest I've ever been in my life), had a moment of clarity, and realized I HATED him.
    Suggested by   @DanaDigsYou