Things I could probably do if it were an emergency

Inspired by @Boogie
  1. Cut my arm off with a dull, off-brand Swiss Army Knife
  2. Light my hair on fire
  3. Sell my screenplay
    This is something I'm trying to do anyway but I thought I'd mention it. FYI I want @bjnovak to star in it.
  4. Delete
    It crashes too much