5 THINGS NEITHER TIGGER NOR ANY OTHER CAT WOULD EVER DO INSPIRED BY RACHEL'S DOG CAPTAIN

Tigger's male human contributed to this report
  1. Bite himself
    If anyone is going to be bit, it is going to be you and Tigger is going to do the biting. His bite (a nibble really) means give me some wet cat food, stop petting me, start petting me or open that door.
  2. Get off the bed
    Nope. Tigger hears the command as hunker down on the bed or sleep next to your head. You are lucky Tigger lets you sleep in his bed.
  3. Come in the house when called
    Tigger's response to this request depends on when he was last fed wet cat food. If full, the response is "nope, I'd rather chew this grass or jump over the fence to the neighbor's house." If empty, the response is "certainly, my lady. You are my princess."
  4. Eat poop
    Poop is for burying.
  5. Feel bad about misbehaving
    You are the one who should feel bad. Tigger is Tigger. Tigger is perfect. Where's your proof?