5 THINGS NEITHER TIGGER NOR ANY OTHER CAT WOULD EVER DO INSPIRED BY RACHEL'S DOG CAPTAIN
Tigger's male human contributed to this report
- •Bite himselfIf anyone is going to be bit, it is going to be you and Tigger is going to do the biting. His bite (a nibble really) means give me some wet cat food, stop petting me, start petting me or open that door.
- •Get off the bedNope. Tigger hears the command as hunker down on the bed or sleep next to your head. You are lucky Tigger lets you sleep in his bed.
- •Come in the house when calledTigger's response to this request depends on when he was last fed wet cat food. If full, the response is "nope, I'd rather chew this grass or jump over the fence to the neighbor's house." If empty, the response is "certainly, my lady. You are my princess."
- •Eat poopPoop is for burying.
- •Feel bad about misbehavingYou are the one who should feel bad. Tigger is Tigger. Tigger is perfect. Where's your proof?