Inspired by @maryyhorne
  1. I think I need some time to really focus on me. Grow and become a better person.
  2. Being with you made me the worst version of myself.
  3. It's not me, it's you.
  4. We took a poll and decided to end you a week early, because you suck.
    @lexie_elyse @plaidflannel @hillary79 @karlalucia and basically every other decent person here wants you to leave.
  5. Don't worry, we'll look back on you fondly when we all laugh and say "Remember the year the world ended?!"
    But seriously, no one will ever find it funny that you took Bowie, Prince, Snape, Ali, Willy Wonka, Mrs Brady, Garry Marshall, Garry Shandling, George Michael, Alan Thicke and so many more! You are the literal worst. The world NOT ending actually sucks more this year.
  6. My CD's are in your car. Please return them and then be on your way.
    Always the most awkward part of any breakup.
  7. We're so over, we need a new word for over.
  8. One more thing.
    Read. Her. Lips.