Celibacy AMA

Inspired by @taylormorley, because for every sex addict there is an equal and opposite celibacy addict! (@shanaz @lexie_elyse also did AMAs, no idea who started it!)
  1. I have been celibate for 6 years. I would give more background but then I may end up answering potential questions.
  2. I am 30, which means I was 24 the last time I got freaky.
  3. Ask me anything, I'm hoping someone asks something. If not, I'll just delete it and act like it never happened. Let's go!
  4. What inspired the decision?
    Suggested by   @smmrnss
  5. My ex boyfriend had a lot of fetishes that I convinced myself I also liked. When we moved to different cities, I broke up with him and decided to try to figure out why I never spoke up
  6. What in your experience have been the advantages or benefits of prolonged celibacy?
    Suggested by   @jonmichaelwxyz
  7. Biggest advantage is not getting blinded by lust. I don't get attached to guys just because I slept with them. They actually have to pull me in with something other than sexual tension.
    Not to mention, knowing I will always pass every STD test at by OBGYN is a wonderful thing. @jonmichaelwxyz
  8. Can I ask what made you decide to be celibate? If that's too invasive you don't have to respond!
    Suggested by   @karlalucia
  9. @karlalucia I thought it would last 3 months or so. Just enough time to figure out my relationship to males outside of being physical.
    I hated falling in lust. I wanted to take my time and find a guy who could wait. I had no idea it would keep going for so long!
  10. How long do you anticipate being celibate?
    I.e. - are you waiting for a certain thing to happen (get married, meet the right person, get past something that happened in the past) or are you doing it for a certain amount of time...or for forever?!?
    Suggested by   @MissJess
  11. @MissJess I have no idea! I'm getting a little worried that I'll be this way forever.
    I guess I'm waiting to want it. So, it could be tomorrow, it could be the "right person." I'm definitely not waiting for marriage. Its so easy for me to not have sex that the place and time will have to be just right.
  12. Do you tell dates about your celibacy? Or is it really not any of their business?
    Suggested by   @hillary79
  13. @hillary79 I haven't gotten close enough to someone I was interested in to even mention it. But I think I'd tell them.
    Especially because I may have a dumb reaction once I finally "do it," like crying or laughing, that I'd like them to know why its kind of a big deal. But to be honest. Its been easy to avoid dating by avoiding sex.
  14. What do you miss most (if anything!) about not being celibate?
    Suggested by   @doodler19
  15. @doodler19 I miss kissing and skin to skin contact. Like, not the sex part at all.
    I want to go back to when everyone just made out naked like in high school. That's more than enough action for me. I like knowing how people look naked and I haven't seen a new naked body in person for 8 years! (The bf from 6 years ago was my guy for 2 years). What if there is some new manscape trend I missed out on?!
  16. Have you figured out why you didn't speak up, or in the process?
    I want to hug you, btw💞
    Suggested by   @cvlop61
  17. @cvlop61 I just always wanted to go outside of my box, and he had a lot of ideas. I liked the enthusiasm.
    It wasn't until I realized he sucked as a person that I decided most of his fetishes also sucked. I mean it was nothing unsafe or gross, it just would NEVER turn me on now. I feel embarrassed that I was such an easy sell. I'll never be that dumb again.
  18. Has this shifted your definition of the word "intimacy" at all? Does it mean something different to you now than it did before?
    Curious about this one!
    Suggested by   @taylormorley
  19. @taylormorley for sure! Intimate to me used to be letting someone see me naked. Intimate to me now means me telling them the truth.
    I have to connect with words, our chemistry, our minds. I was so private, emotionally before. So much more has to align before I open up at all. I also find that the men I connect with are almost polar opposites of men I used to get naked with. My "tastebuds" have changed.
  20. @taylormorley the weirdest part of all is that I moved back to the city where I went to college, and I am still kind of viewed through the lens of "slut".
    I didn't sleep with a ton of people in college, but we all traveled in the same circles, so I am not really welcome around any of my male friends who are now married. I carry a "homewrecker" label, funny enough.