Diets I've Tried

I wanted to rank these by how crazy they were, but I am sure I'll forget some I want to add later. So, judge for yourself. *Tiny ED trigger, but nothing specific*
  1. The Carb Lover's Diet
    So this was a book that came out a couple of months after I had a subscription to Health magazine, and boy were they pushing this release. It sounds amazing as a person who rarely eats meat or dairy, low carb diets were always hard for me. Um, this diet SOOKS! You eat green bananas, rye bread, and the only pasta you can have has to be ice cold. Everything had to be cold and undercooked for the diet to work 👎🏽
  2. The Best Life Diet
    See who the foreword is by? That's why I bought it. This diet was a mental health + physical health plan. It really seemed to make sense. I was not mature enough when I first tried it and by the time I went again there were all these hidden costs involved that it didn't used to have for online resources. Damn capitalism.
  3. This was a website where you paid like $3 a week for a meal plan. It was so cool! You put in all of your food aversions and they would come up with the best recipes. I got skinny on this, and in a healthy way. But my ED took it too far and I stopped eating entirely as I tried to "win" at weight loss. This turned into an entirely different company later, where you have to buy their meals like Jenny Craig. It was good while it lasted.
  4. Almost exactly like ediets.com except free. Which strangely made me forget to do it. I checked in like once a month. Plus they ALWAYS suggested fish recipes for me when I don't eat fish. I got what I paid for it. I'm sure this works well for someone. It's nice to have this free option tho!
  5. Swimsuit Diet
    I think this was made up, I don't recall where I learned it. But basically you eat all your meals in a swimsuit. It makes you want to eat salads and drink smoothies in theory. It made me want to cry. It did not work.
  6. I Can Make You Thin
    This was a TV show (infomercial) my sister did audience work for, so I watched it just to see her. But this guy had a way to pretty much self hypnotize yourself into hating fatty foods. It WORKED! I lost 35 pounds in 3 months because I stopped wanting pizza and french fries. Again, my ED ruined it and wanted to make the 35 lb loss into 50 and I lost all my hard work. It'd probably work again. 👍🏽
  7. Cayenne Lemonade
    Cayenne pepper, maple syrup, lemon juice, distilled water. Senna tea at night. I threw up from the laxative tea 3 nights in a row. I forgot how to get home from campus even though I had been living there for 8 months and it was a mile away. I hit a car by accident. I gained 10 pounds after eating minestrone soup on day 4. Worst diet cleanse detox ever 👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽
  8. Celebrity Fit Club Diet
    Not sure if this worked. You have to eat only fruits veggies and beans for 9 days and I stopped at 9 days. Phase two wasn't appealing. All of the celebrities gained it back, so I quit.
  9. Atkins
    Bwahahaha! Why did I even try? My parents lost so much weight on this back in like 2002, so I tried it in high school. I spent 5 days eating broccoli dipped in ranch. On day 6 I ate an entire frozen pizza (probably the only time I've ever done that) and drank a soda (I never drink soda). I was so mean for those 5 days that my mom basically force fed me the pizza so she didn't strangle me.
  10. Clear skin diet
    I think my sister and I made this up as we went along. I'm not entirely sure why I wanted to do this because my skin is the one thing that doesn't bother me. It was fine just a bit ridiculous on protein. Take away chicken and I get no protein in my life.
  11. Toothbrush Diet
    I made up the name. This was a tip from a magazine from Pamela Anderson. She says she immediately brushes her teeth once she has eaten a small portion of her meal and she never wants to eat after that. I tried it, it's a perfect trick for teens with ED. Do not recommend.
  12. Weight Watchers
    I went my freshman year of college. I was told that I needed to be overweight to start. But I joined anyway. I ate an orange for breakfast, a cucumber for lunch and french fries for dinner. Stayed in my allowed points and was able to eat from the student union for free. I quit after 3 weeks when I realized I was yet again just paying money for restricting tips. I think they changed the point system after this because of eaters like me.
  13. [Weight Loss Place Name I Forgot]
    This place went out of business. It was like a place you go for private weigh ins once a week and they sold meal replacement bars. You pay money up front. You can't participate if you have an ED, so I told them I did and they said "no that's fine" and I got skinnay! Like so skinny. They had a similar point system to weight watchers but you had to get points from different categories (which I think WW does now).
  14. ...continued
    I remember eating cucumbers and turkey sausage for breakfast, a half of a wheat bagel made into a cheese "pizza" for lunch, and a veggie patty over salad for dinner. I dropped 2-4 lbs a week. My pants were falling off. I really felt good. They did not care a bit if you worked out.
  15. ...continued. I think the closest to the diet place would be the 21 day fix. Because it makes sure you get all the food groups in teensy portions. But 21df has you work out.
  16. ...
  17. Now I'm trying the craziest diet of all, self love, moderation, daily sweat sessions, and real food.
    Even if my waist never shrinks again, my soul wins.