HONEST REASONS WHY I'VE BROKEN UP WITH BOYFRIENDS

Inspired by @Alphonse who was inspired by @mirthnuts
  1. Drew - Because I was in over my head
    Sophomore year. I really liked him. It was too good too fast. I had my friend dump him for me. Then she slept with him. We aren't friends anymore. I still miss Drew sometimes.
  2. Eugene - Pathological Liar
    I could not tell you if Eugene is his real name. This guy lived an hour away with no car and I saw him every weekend before I had a drivers license. It was fun, but he was only around for fun. He's in the army now, or is he?
  3. James - He VERRRY much broke up with me
    He says he broke up with me because he was falling in love with me. He actually did because he got a lot of attention once he was unavailable. He ended up marrying a girl with my exact name who looks identical to me. I took this breakup very hard. It happened the evening of March 31, so when I got to school on April 1, everyone thought I was pranking them.
  4. Kenneth - The one who got away
    He actually took me to prom after James dumped me. Then we reconnected during college. This just faded out. Nothing actually happened, we went to different colleges and our priorities got in the way. He got married about a week after he graduated. I think he was the one. If I never find someone, it's because I screwed this up.
  5. Dennis - He dumped me because I wouldn't eat at Subway
    Not a euphemism. We were together for over a year at this point, he was 35 and I was 24. We tried to decide on lunch, he suggested Subway, I said no. He said, "this isn't working" and I drove from Dallas to Austin starving and with mascara covering my face. He thinks we were in love. I think he made me very sad. I haven't had a boyfriend since him because I never want to feel the way he made me feel again.