I Finally Start Therapy(ish) Tomorrow
It's an intro meeting, but I have waited such a long time.
- •She works walking distance from my home, so I have no added commute stress. Plus if I leave sobbing, I only have to get one block or so with watery eyes.
- •She specializes in my issues. My many many issues.
- •I have noticed when I reach out to friends/family they always direct me towards their own self interests. I'm so ready to have someone listen who doesn't have a dog in this fight.Let me repeat: I'm so ready to have someone listen who doesn't have a dog in this fight!
- •I am having a very hard time not blowing up at my cousin lately. She is a evil evil person when she is depressed and she is in month 14 of divorce-denial. "Poison-spewer" I call her and others who take their anger out on any and everyone. As if I cheated on her.I'm hoping therapist lady gives me techniques to set boundaries without feeling like I'll be abandoning a semi-suicidal person. (Honestly, semi-suicidal is my state of mind more often than my cousin would ever care to respect anyways.)
- •I'm grateful we had to reschedule from last week because now this is on payday. I will have even less money-related anxiety for the appointment.
- •I'm terrified I will package myself up like I always do and give her my elevator pitch of problems."Youngest of three, parents divorced at nine, disordered eating since eleven, father married devil at 13, grandma died at 14. Stopped eating most foods for 10 years, found out I was much more than a control freak and am possibly on the spectrum or OCD (are those the same?), quit ambien a year ago and now I'm here. Oh, also a people pleaser and like to make myself small."
- •I'm just so looking forward to saying "I want to go on a solo trip" and have someone not respond "let's go to..."No! I need to learn Boogie.
- •Therapy goals in Ashlee Simpson Lyrics
- •Start here: 🎶 Living in the shadow, of someone else's dreams. Trying to find a hand to hold, but every touch felt cold to me.🎶See that Jessica-clone she was in season one.
- •End here:🎶 Living in a new day, I'm living it for me! And now that I am wide awake, I can finally be. Don't feel sorry for me. 🎶That's Ashlee! She ain't no one's little sister.