MY LONGEST COMMITMENTS
Spoiler Alert: None are romantic relationships
- •Graphite in arm (19 years+)In 4th grade, Sex Ed class. They split up the boys and girls into different classrooms. The topic of day 1 was AIDS and we kept asking "can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?" "What about a doorknob?" Etc. then Rebecca Culp went to sharpen her #2 pencil, she turned around and stabbed my arm by accident. Teacher goes, "No worries! Can't get AIDS from a pencil, Boogie!" 19 years later, I still have that graphite tattoo.
- •Being a Justin Timberlake fan (17 years)NSYNC did a concert on Disney Channel. We recorded it on a VHS. All of us girls were obsessed with "Blue Pants" which was JT. He's been famous for 17 years, and I have been a fan the entire time. He is great, I feel so lucky to have a celeb like him. Funny, and just the right amount of appropriation (😂)!
- •My Tube TV - Not Pictured (16 years)My mom got me my own TV in 7th grade and she told me I needed to take good care of it because TVs are expensive. Um, challenge accepted Mom! I kept the TV, including the original remote, through 3 moves. It is still in my room at her house now. They don't even make cords that hook into a TV from 1999. But I bought an old DVD player and watch The Office on DVD when I'm home. I'm very attached to the TV. No clue why.
- •Facebook, unfortunately (12 years)☝🏽️my current profile photo on there☝🏽️I have been on that dumb website, without ever deactivating for 12 mf-ing years. My aunts and uncles are on there, and I don't remember half the people from high school who pop up. Everyone has babies, but I've gone fully through the cycle where I just love the babies now. Doesn't bother me anymore. Biological clock and all. My fb persona is not me, it's a pretty/fake package.
- •Vicki - my first car '02 Mitsubishi Lancer (8+ years)I got her Christmas morning of my senior year of high school from my mom and step dad. I ran outside and the charcoal color looked like a dress I saw Posh Spice wear in Spice World. So I said, "her name is Victoria, Vicki for short." We were best friends all through college, and until she started overheating. I sold her to a coworker and a week after this photo, she totaled her. Since the coworker hadn't paid for the car, I got $4000!
- •These weird skiboots (8 years)I needed some flat boots that I could wear several pair of socks under. Why? Oh, because I was packing for the inauguration of Barack Obama. They had all of these metal chain pieces on them, so I cut them off and made them into their own thing. I have had these boots for 8 years in January and I can't say that about any other shoes. Speaking of those pants tucked into the boots...
- •My transformer pants (6 years)I've mentioned them before. MY BRAND OF FEMININITY I love these ugly pants. My stepdad sent them to me when I lived in Chicago and it was cold at night (something I had not prepared for). They were the only thing that reminded me of home and I was really miserable in Chicago. I like ugly clothes, they make me happy.
- •This prank picture of me with a foam belly (4 years)My friend was very pregnant and she was sick of trying on clothes. So she asked me to put on the foam belly at the maternity store and help her find some clothes. She snapped this photo. I was like, this will be SUCH a good prank. But I never found the right moment. Her child just turned 4 last week. Now I refuse to use it as a prank because I need all the good baby karma I can get! (Trademark @bsizzle33)
- •Twiggy - Sassy Chihuahua (<2 years)January 18, 2015. The day I found the baby girl I'd been looking for. She was so tiny (as you see, she's now huge!) and she trusted me immediately. She followed me around my little 600 sq ft apartment for the first six weeks before we got a bigger place. I'd keep her forever if dogs lived as long as humans. I just like her a lot, and I miss her when I don't see her. She loves my sisters and parents too. She's a tiny alpha female. Bitches get stuff done 🐾