Inspired by @hillary79
  1. "My mission in life is not to find a good parking spot"
    This is how I stop myself and just put my car somewhere when I am trying to get inside Target.
  2. "Water's goooood"
    I mean this genuinely, water is by FAR my favorite drink. But I used to live with a personal trainer who said it when she would drink water and the other roommates (never me) were drinking soda. So I'm mocking her, but in complete agreement.
  3. "I can't. I'm allergic"
    Usually the truth, only a lie when mayonnaise is involved.
  4. "Squatty. Push. Potty."
    I noticed Twigs only pees when I say things that rhyme with Potty. But I like to give her detailed instructions. This was our compromise. Plus it makes me think of @PeteOnEarth's squatty potty and that's so funny!
  5. "No worries!"
    Same as @hillary79 when people say Thank You. But I think it's when they are thanking me for something silly, like grabbing them a bottled water rather than something I did myself, like a wrapped birthday gift. For those, I say you're welcome.
  6. "Suh Cuyt!"
    This caption misrepresents the pronunciation.
  7. "I had a dream about you last night"
    I always dream, I always remember them, and I usually tell the person in detail. Sometimes I lie about the weird parts because I don't want my boss to know I stole their dog in my dream or something. I soften the edges.
  8. "I love that man/lady so much."
    I have never NOT said this when they are live on TV.
  9. "Genuinely"
    I'm genuine. I like to tell people.
  10. "God bless"
    Always in texts, often out of context. 100% the fault of @marymurphy and @joemurphy
  11. "Can you make that without cheese?"
    My tombstone.
  12. "I'll be home at the regular time"
    I say this to my dog. She knows time and English.
  13. "In da clerb, we all fam"