😏 Phrases That Make Me Sound Like A Jerk
But I won't stop saying them! I'm a little bit of a jerk.
- •"I have a photographic memory"I don't know why people say this isn't real, because I have it.
- •"They change color"When people ask me what color my eyes are. I actually can't see my own eyes, you know. But you are looking at them. If I say green, and they are gray today, you'll correct me. This is a lose/lose. They legit look different depending on the day.
- •"I only wear tinted moisturizer and mascara"When people ask like what brand of eyeshadow they should get from Sephora or what color eyebrow pencil works best. I am just saying I have no clue.
- •"I'm allergic to your perfume"Whatever filler they put in body spray is like liquid cat dander.
- •"It's naturally curly"What? You asked! No one would put this much effort into curling their hair.
- •"I don't eat beef, but thank you"I live in Texas, this gets me close to blacklisted. Honorable mention: "I don't eat chicken with bones" (it reminds me too much that it just came off an animal.)
- •"Never had braces"When people discuss what age they were when they had them. I'm trying to communicate that my parents were cheap and ignored me, but it sounds like I was born with great teeth. I wasn't, I now need adult braces.
- •"I'll just have water"This is fine for most, but it makes some soda people feel guilty. I only drink water, so I'll always order water.
- •"My IQ is 141"This doesn't come up a lot, but I notice 130s like to brag and I like to hush them. One time my boss was saying guys are smarter than girls, and I wanted him to know that I am smarter than him, IQ wise.
- •"I was reading in preschool"Full disclosure, this has maybe come up twice. I just don't know what 4 year olds like for gifts, because I was a nerdy preschooler. So when I suggest buying a small child a book, people tell me that's a dumb gift. I say "not when I was 4."
- •"I don't get sunburns"This one is weird, because to the naked eye, my skin is that of an Anglo. But that's false. I have only ever had one sunburn, I was outside for 8 hours covered in tanning oil in 110° weather. Besides that, I just get tan. I'm black, with peach skin, the least I can get is a tan!