Stupid Ways I Injured Myself as a Kid and as an Adult
Inspired by @flumpfeatures, it's easy to remember all of my injuries because the upper body was all on the left, and my lower body was all on the right. I'm balanced, lol.
- •Left elbow - dislocatedI was a toddler, and I was rowdy. My dad picked me up in a funny way and my dumb elbow couldn't hang. I don't remember anything besides my Charlie Brown sling I wore for a while. My dad still tears up when he thinks about it because he was so sad to hurt me. I turned out fine! Well, my elbow is fine.
- •Left collar bone - fracturedI was mad that only the boys thought they could get on the highest monkey bar. I went up there several times, as a 4 year old feminist, to prove them wrong. One time I fell off. My parents made up a song in the waiting room after getting the Xray. The song went 🎶"Little baby crack in my clavicle, my clavicle, my clavicle." And now I only remember the song. My parents are the best.
- •Left wrist - hairline fractureMy sis @graciagrapes and I were doing tug of war in the garage. I fell weird and caught myself with my arm on the concrete garage floor. Stepmonster thought it wasn't broken and I was overreacting, I had to wait until my mom could take me to get my cast.
- •Left pinky finger - brokenNo clue how I broke it. It happened after I took ambien one night. That's one of many reasons I stopped taking it.
- •Right ankle - sprained, hyperextendedI fell a lot and was an overall klutz for the first 30+ years of my life (Currently 30 years old). I hyperextended my Achilles tendon from falling down the stairs. It was no fun. I like really fell down the stairs all the way down.
- •Right "ring" toe - crushedI don't know what you call the toe next to the pinky toe. I was filling my mom's stocking on Christmas Eve and it had too much in it, so the crazy heavy stocking holder slammed on my toe. I was standing on the brick fireplace, so my toe was essentially a brick sandwich. It was broken, and it was shattered.
- •Right knee - So many things! No cartilageMy knee locked at a 90° angle when I was practicing a dance for school. I was on crutches for a month. It locked up 8 more times so I got surgery. Now I have scars in the shape of a smiley face on my knee. It still locks up, but never lasts for more than 2 days. It's a stupid knee, I much prefer the other one.