Stupid Ways I Injured Myself as a Kid and as an Adult

Inspired by @flumpfeatures, it's easy to remember all of my injuries because the upper body was all on the left, and my lower body was all on the right. I'm balanced, lol.
  1. Left elbow - dislocated
    I was a toddler, and I was rowdy. My dad picked me up in a funny way and my dumb elbow couldn't hang. I don't remember anything besides my Charlie Brown sling I wore for a while. My dad still tears up when he thinks about it because he was so sad to hurt me. I turned out fine! Well, my elbow is fine.
  2. Left collar bone - fractured
    I was mad that only the boys thought they could get on the highest monkey bar. I went up there several times, as a 4 year old feminist, to prove them wrong. One time I fell off. My parents made up a song in the waiting room after getting the Xray. The song went 🎶"Little baby crack in my clavicle, my clavicle, my clavicle." And now I only remember the song. My parents are the best.
  3. Left wrist - hairline fracture
    My sis @graciagrapes and I were doing tug of war in the garage. I fell weird and caught myself with my arm on the concrete garage floor. Stepmonster thought it wasn't broken and I was overreacting, I had to wait until my mom could take me to get my cast.
  4. Left pinky finger - broken
    No clue how I broke it. It happened after I took ambien one night. That's one of many reasons I stopped taking it.
  5. Right ankle - sprained, hyperextended
    I fell a lot and was an overall klutz for the first 30+ years of my life (Currently 30 years old). I hyperextended my Achilles tendon from falling down the stairs. It was no fun. I like really fell down the stairs all the way down.
  6. Right "ring" toe - crushed
    I don't know what you call the toe next to the pinky toe. I was filling my mom's stocking on Christmas Eve and it had too much in it, so the crazy heavy stocking holder slammed on my toe. I was standing on the brick fireplace, so my toe was essentially a brick sandwich. It was broken, and it was shattered.
  7. Right knee - So many things! No cartilage
    My knee locked at a 90° angle when I was practicing a dance for school. I was on crutches for a month. It locked up 8 more times so I got surgery. Now I have scars in the shape of a smiley face on my knee. It still locks up, but never lasts for more than 2 days. It's a stupid knee, I much prefer the other one.