Things I'll Never Say
Alwayses and Nevers are proof of immaturity according to Amy Poehler, so let's just say it's highly unlikely these sentences leave my mouth in the future unless I am in a play.
- •But I'm really interested in hearing the republican candidate's stance on [blank]
- •I'll wait my turn.
- •I feel like we haven't heard enough from the straight white males. Please speak up.
- •Want to share dinner?
- •I'm so good at science! Periodic table come get me.
- •I want to learn how to cook because the way to a man's heart is through is stomach.
- •This needs more mayonnaise.
- •All of my most flattering clothes are red!
- •Turn up that country music!
- •Youse guys
- •I just wish I had some kale!
- •I'd love to undress with the lights on please.
- •Was I speeding, Officer?
- •The benefits of slavery were...
- •Wait, what was the rape victim wearing?