THINGS MY ANNOYING COWORKER HAS DISCUSSED WITH ME TODAY

All while I have had in my earbuds, trying to keep him away.
  1. What time his roofer is stopping by to bring his warranty paperwork.
    It's 1:00 you guys. His name is Gordon and he also is bringing a lien release.
  2. The amount his DJ friend charges for house parties.
    He wasn't planning on having a house party, until he heard the price. $125 an hour. This includes a light show.
  3. Why I should set up a paypal account
    I have one, but I wasn't speaking. With or without feedback he continues to speak.
  4. How he goes to Cheesecake Factory on CF's anniversary for the half priced cheesecake
    This also happens to be his wedding anniversary and his wife is a human person who made 2 more humans with him. This is how they celebrate. With a coupon and dinner at the mall.
  5. That he doesn't understand the silly technology of our phone system
    He's our IT guy.
  6. What to do if the travel agent is out of the office, even though he needs her to be in the office.
    She is two hours behind, so she was just asleep. It was 6am in Seattle. My suggestion was that he wait for her to get in the office, he chose to bother 4 more coworkers with the conundrum instead of taking my advice.
  7. His 2 year old is ready for a twin bed and he wants mattress store suggestions
    When given a suggestion he says "are one of those close to my house?" Um, no clue where you live dude. That's on you.
  8. We should have a putt putt challenge.
    He says as he practices his swing with an invisible club.
  9. "How's your sister's marriage? Also, where does she work?"
    I replied "she's out of town" because his questions were too weird to answer correctly.
  10. He thanked me for setting out snacks for the office and said they were delicious.
    I look in the kitchen and realize he ate off of another coworkers lunch plate. No snacks were set out. He just stole apple slices. Then thanked me? Am I the apple person? I have never cut up an apple in this office. Do I give off a snack time vibe?
  11. "Why would people with a lot of money live in an apartment when they can live in a house?"
    Dude. Stop talking. Is this a dare? Who put you up to this?