I was at Mom's and found these pictures today (all of me because I am only narcissistic about my 4 year old self).
- •I really think this picture SCREAMS 1991Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls and that classic bike with training wheels. I was clearly headed to go rob a liquor store. They never think the 4 year old will be the kingpin.
- •I loved my friendsBefore the big recital. I poisoned everyone so I could get into Juilliard. That face I'm making to Mom in the picture is the go-ahead with our plan.
- •My mom wrote an arrow on the picture in case she forgot which one was me.This was 30 seconds before they all collapsed from the poison. But clearly my turn out is better than theirs, and I would have been scouted anyways. On another level.
- •This is before the bow at the recitalI prayed for forgiveness before all those small children met their maker. Literally happened the instant after this was snapped. Buh bye 👋🏾
- •McDonald's Birthday PartyNot a single clue why my mom got me a white doll. See my face, it's me thinking my mom is racist against her own.
- •A Style Magic Barbie!I was going to have a blast chopping off her hair and popping her legs out of socket. I'm making plans for her inevitable demise if you look closely in my eyes.
- •The McDonald's Toy that comes with every birthday party!I was legit happy here, you can see by my lips! I had been sippin on sizzurp before opening this and it was just kicking in. Super high.