Vicious Cycle

  1. As many of you know about a year and a half ago I stopped taking ambien for my insomnia. I still had insomnia, I just hated the side effects.
    I still hate them and will never touch the stuff again. I'm surprised I'm alive, honestly.
  2. After 5 months of zero sleep I saw a specialist and got on the lowest dose of amitriptyline. It's a migraine medicine that has drowsiness as a side effect.
    Technically not a sleep medicine and somewhat safe to function on if I had to drive to the emergency room or something.
  3. I slept like a hibernating bear for the first week on that stuff. Godsend.
  4. Then the side effects began.
    Weight gain, intense sugar cravings, lethargy, straight up laziness, etc.
  5. I thought I got it under control by watching my calories and jogging. But eventually the low dose stopped making me sleep at all.
  6. So a month ago I went for my check up and they adjusted my dosage up basically 25%. Seemed super safe and insignificant.
  7. In the last month I have gained between 7 and 10 pounds while eating the exact same foods I ate the last year. In a MONTH!
  8. Yesterday and Sunday an even worse thing happened. I almost fell asleep at the wheel.
    The medicine has caused artificial narcolepsy. I googled it.
  9. I called to see if I could stop these specific meds. The doctor was all "yup, byeeeeee"
  10. Um. How am I supposed to sleep now that I'm stopping it homie?
  11. They don't care.
  12. Funny thing is, I slept four hours last night and I finally felt like myself again. Insomnia is my thing. It was weirder to sleep than it is to be up all night.
  13. Luckily, the weight comes off easily when you stop the meds (thanks again Google) but I'm on 1200 calories until I look like less of a potato.
  14. The "vicious cycle" part of this is the main reason I stopped ambien was because of the night eating. It caused me to gain weight. 🙄
  15. Update: they put me on a sleeping pill that doesn't have crazy side effects and doesn't cause any weight gain.
    One problem though, it's a controlled substance and I feel like I am creeping back towards ambien territory. It's valium, in the lowest dose. It doesn't kick in like ambien, it doesn't make me hyper or sleep eat. It just quiets my mind at bedtime. Hoping I don't get addicted. I have taken valium for vertigo and I felt no attachment to it, so it's possible. 🙏🏾