1. Red Rooster
    The only thing more amazing than the fries is the fact that this joint is still open. The lack of customers means the two employees can focus all their attention on the preperation of your fries. This fry is the perfect cut and the chicken salt is the industry benchmark. They can be eaten fresh or let them sweat up in the box it doesn't matter. These fries are the only bright spot in an always demoralizing experience.
  2. KFC
    The amateur's obvious choice for number one. This fry has been a consistant performer over the years. A solid cut that still tastes good 20 mins after cooking, which is when they usually arrive. This fry drops to number 2 on this list because of inconsistencies with the application of the inimitable chicken salt. Pick up your game pimply 15 year old trainees.
  3. McDonalds
    For a fry that has had more science put into its development than the electric car and is a bigger contributer to global warming than the gasoline car, this fry would want to deliver. And it does. The 14 different chemicals found in this fry means no matter where in the world you are it tastes exactly the same. Whether you be hungover in an Irish county, recovering from gardia in india or simply requesting your last meal before the firing squad in Indonesia. You always know what you are getting.
  4. Burger King/Hungry Jacks
    The poor man's McDonald's fry. Burger king has gone for a replica fry that falls far short of the original. This fry is under salted, tasteless, cold and soggy but don't worry you won't have to eat many as you will never recieve your full serving. Tip: Don't bother checking the bottom of your bag for fries, there is no spillage.
  5. Nando's
    A relatively new player on the scene. Thick cut freshly made rectangles of disappointment. This fry just does not stand alone. Nando's have tried to mask the deficiencies in the fries by adding excess perri perri salt and offering their delicious chilli sauces for free. A shady underhanded move even McDonalds would be ashamed of. Hey Nando's, if I wanted tasteless bland potato I wouldn't be going to Nando's I would just go to my Nanna's.