Things I've been asked because I'm deaf

I gotta share some of the ridiculous things I've heard due to my being deaf
  1. "Is that a Bluetooth?"
    If I'm in class, I'm probably not using a Bluetooth.
  2. "Do you know sign language, you HAVE to teach me!"
    I understand that this is a cool thing to know, but I am not obligated to teach you a language simply because I know it.
  3. "Have you ever considered getting a cochlear implant? You can get your hearing back!"
    Just stop. It's wildly inappropriate to ask and for you to assume that I haven't done research on it is blatantly dumb.
  4. "You're deaf? I didn't even know!"
    Ok. Exclaiming your surprise makes it awkward.
  5. "Is she deaf? She doesn't even act like it"
    Apparently someone said this to my friend a few times. How the hell does one act deaf?
  6. "What a shame that you have to deal with it so young"
    Ok.
  7. "What am I saying?" Proceeds to mouth words
    This is not ok.
  8. "This is what you should do about your hearing aid..."
    Please don't tell me what to do with my hearing aid when I already know the problem and solution, whereas you most likely haven't been to an audiologist in years.
  9. "My (sibling, friend, etc.) is deaf too!"
    I understand that this is a way to relate to me, but it's just weird. What am I supposed to say to that?
  10. "Oh, I'm basically deaf too hahahaha"
    Stop. You're not "basically deaf" if you ask "what" a few times. Please don't use this as way to relate to me.
  11. "They're signing to each other, you should go sign to them"
    It's disrespectful for someone to just barge in a conversation so why would I do that to someone just because I understand the language?
  12. "Can you hear me now?"
    Fuck you.