I imagine my autobiography would be called something like "Nervous Wreck."
  1. Chapter 1: Oh no I'm having chest pain
  2. Chapter 2: It's obviously a heart attack and I'm definitely going to die
  3. Chapter 3: Yep definitely screwed
  4. Chapter 4: Goodbye cruel world
  5. Chapter 5: Wait nah we're good everybody
  6. Chapter 6: Turns out it was just gas
  7. Chapter 7: Hmm there's a weird mole on my arm
  8. Chapter 8: It's obviously skin cancer and I'm definitely going to die
  9. Chapter 9: Getting my affairs in order
  10. Chapter 10: Whoops it's just a mole that's been there my entire life
  11. Chapter 11: So that social interaction went well
  12. Chapter 12: Or DID it?
  13. Chapter 13: sh*tsh*tsh*t
  14. Chapter 14: The time I spent 45 years thinking about a single social outing
  15. Chapter 15: Time for bed
  16. Chapter 16: jk my brain decided my time would be better spent agonizing over something that happened seven years ago instead
  17. Chapter 17: Aaaand now I'm obsessing over anything and everything that could possibly go wrong ever for the remainder of my existence
  18. Chapter 18: Oh God what's wrong with my FACE?!
  19. Chapter 19: Oh wait nvm that's just my face
  20. Chapter 20: My friend hasn't texted me back in 39 minutes
  21. Chapter 21: It's obviously because I'm a horrible human being and they hate me
  22. Chapter 22: nvm they had just gone to eat dinner
  23. Chapter 23 (final): Best advice from my top 100 therapists
  24. The End