Fringe: The List

Don't wear fringe just to wear fringe. Wear fringe for a purpose.
  1. 1.
    When you're trying to remember where you parked your car.
  2. 2.
    When you want to guarantee they swipe right on your Tinder picture.
  3. 3.
    Because OMG, you guyyyzzzzz!
  4. 4.
    Because even though you're off duty you still represent the NorthEast Ohio Sewer Department and you represent it well. @neorsd
  5. 5.
    When the cops are giving you a drunk driving test.
  6. 6.
    Because you don't have to be lonely at
  7. 7.
    Because a mustache like that needs to be accessorized.
  8. 8.
    When you don't want anyone to realize you're missing your left hand.
  9. 9.
    When you and your bro want to make sure you look cool while you pee together.
  10. 10.
    Because if you spill something on your shirt,you can just tear a few fringe straps off and good as new!
  11. 11.
    Because you can't remember if your shift at Starbucks starts at 4:00 or 4:30.
  12. 12.
    Because #allfringematters.
  13. 13.
    Because you're a slightly gayer version of Dave Grohl and you have cable.
  14. 14.
    Because it's the best possible thing you could be wearing when someone needs directions.
  15. 15.
    Because, call you old-fashioned, but you believe people should dress up when they go to the museum.
  16. 16.
    When you decide you're finally going to flash your boobs at the construction workers on your route to work.
  17. 17.
    Because you like your hugs to be a little extra-special.
  18. 18.
    Because Brooks and Dunn need back-up dancers.
  19. 19.
    Because Nine Inch Nails needs back-up dancers.
  20. 20.
    Because your fringe wrap would only look better on the floor of my bedroom underneath my bed with the Southwestern sheets or, maybe, draped over the bull skull hanging on the wall.