I am an actor... Damn It. 7 reasons I can't give up... Even though I may never succeed.
I tried for years in vein to leave the "Acting Itch" behind me.
- 1.I have an IMDB page... So I may as wellAt the time of writing this my IMDB page illustrates exactly how far I got without even trying.
- 2.I left too much money on the table trying to give the illusion that I was 100% integrity & not for sale.Truth is in that industry one must do what they can to stand out. So I passed on some bigger projects in favor of prior commitments that I "gave my word too." And I have NEVER broken my word in my life... But nobody was ever gonna walk out of a Batman Movie (for example, but I have several.) thinking anything good or bad about the "Featured Extra." Batman will be the topic. 100 times out of 100.
- 3.Vigilante Justice?I burned year 100% dedicated an unnamed part. I turned down huge opportunities for it I put everything I had to fit in the skin of the character I was cast as. Student film, But I believed in director & part. Trusted wrongly. We shot around the clock for 3 weeks in cold December,supposed to finish in spring.Injured my spine knees & you name it. Spent most of 1 night laying face down in a puddle of freezing rain & my own blood.THEY RESHOT IT & Never told me or cast & crew. THEY WILL PAY.
- 4.It's too much funI was in working background for one of the Law & Orders. Way way way in the back. I remember talking to this younger dude who was more interested in being discovered.. I heard myself give the best advice I ever gave.."If you can take this part of the business seriously then you can handle any of it." That holds as true today as it ever did.
- 5.I really want to be in the Screen Actors Guild (SAG/AFTRA)Even if I never get any work that is just the holy grail for aspiring actors. I like to think it will allow for other opportunities, for auditions, management or representation but for now... I just want to get in. Many will tell me the ways it can happen, all require luck.. I make my own luck. I just need the right audience..There are many like me. I've been on sets where the AD's could have every desire pleased if they brandished the chance of a blessed waiver. I'll get there 4 them 2.
- 6.I Love It Even When It Doesn't Love Me Back.I was on the set of a since canceled NBC Show. Was on it a few times. The show was so bad I couldn't tolerate it long enough to see if I was in it. One occasion the scene was at a St. Patrick's day parade. My face covered in green face paint... So no chance of being seen. We shot till 4 am in NJ outside with 7' temp and a wind chill working against us. Brutal. Many actors ended their careers that night.. I loved every minute of it. That's when I knew I was bit.
- 7.I WILL BE ACTING ANYWAY..If my only audience is my 10 month old daughter I will perform. I don't know if I am any good at it. I only know that if I am brought in the PROJECT is EVERYTHING. I have studied/trained under a many disciplines. Won't ever be done learning how to be better. Every craft needs to be sharpened. That's most of the fun. Realizing how little I know. Forced humility is the need. Better to go below & rise etc. That's why I can't stay mad at #3. It just didn't love me back that time. I Regret Nothing.