Allow Me to Listroduce™ Myself - What's In A Name?

A name like mine.
  1. It's not Brett; not even Bret minus a "T"
    I find myself stressing the letter "N" too much. At this point, I'll just tell them the "N" is silent.
  2. Wiggins is not proof that I sold wigs
    Even if I was named after such a profession, I'd nip that family business in the bud. I don't care if I'm bald! I'm bald because of genetics and dietary ethics, and I can live with that.
  3. Nor is it an alteration of Wiggles
    That's right, the motion and the children's TV boy band. As if my name was originally Wiggles; the nerve of some people!
  4. The "That's a unique name" spiel
    Sure, Brent is an uncommon, unique name and maybe even Wiggins too, but I don't wear it as my badge of originality. I don't get this all the time, but when I do I should be drinking Dos Equis to enjoy pretending it's a compliment.
  5. My initials are BMW
    You'd think this would be a cool acronym to have for your initials, right? No, not when you earn the nickname Bimmer. Oh poor Bimmer, it must be a bummer.
  6. George Carlin had fun with my name
    In his HBO special titled "Jammin' In New York," George Carlin talks about names that shouldn't be names. Brent was one of them, but I'm glad he didn't chew it out like he did the others. It was an honorable mention though!
  7. I have a pretty cool rapper name
    B. Wiggs on the street and I know what'cha thinkin'! Is he a freak in the sheets with the girlies he be winkin'? Yes to the name, no to the game.