How To Deal With Careless People
To the faces you never thought possible, here's my advice on how to approach undesirables.
- •They may not like you and that's okay.It's okay because of reasons unknown to you. Sometimes there's not even a conceivable reason, not anything substantial enough to incriminate you or your reputation. You move on for the betterment of yourself because there are moments where you're not here to be liked. You have better things to look forward to and you don't need someone's approval to be happy.
- •Level with them.Don't get to their level of intolerance but do raise reasonable questions. Is there something I'm doing or could be doing? Understand the recurring situation and make sure it accommodates both you and the undesirable, because that's just the irony of it all: an undesirable who desires everything. As long as it makes you happy, he/she realizes and respects that and you do the same, there should be no more misunderstandings. Eye contact and affirmations are a must if you want to make the change.
- •"One and Done" isn't enoughSo you have a recalcitrant, self-indulgent, over-privileged, spoiled and pampered undesirable with a total disregard for respect for others other than him or herself. There's no need to tolerate this but you do, waiting to see if your words you had held any meaning to them. If the problem persists, in the form of sarcastic and disingenuous remarks, do the following: Ignore them. They say hello to you, don't say hello back. They couldn't be bothered to do it in the first place, so why start now?
- •Kill them with kindnessThey want to be sarcastic and pretend to be oblivious to your concerns? Fine. All you have to do now is be kind. Never give them any proof that you had been rude in the slightest. That won't stop them from lying to others about you, but it will have them run out of stories to tell when the truth of the matter counts. You can be friendly but you don't have to be friends. Keep calm, stay diligent, persist and never desist.
- •Ignore them more and moreSilence represents all of the above. They don't want to give any effort and neither should you on their behalf. Sometimes responding is a must and at the risk of being seen as rude in the presence of a significant other while the undesirable has made him or herself present, say as little as possible and move on. Show them they and their character are insignificant. One roommate had the audacity to ask me if I was moving out when he already knew. All I said was yeah. Don't feed them, starve them.