If I Was Drunk...
I don't drink but this is what I imagine it becoming. Probably.
- •I'd make out with this lamp.A shapely PYT.
- •I'd admit things about strangers.Something childishly honest, like "You have a big nose!"
- •I'd hiccup more than talk.Goal-den sigh-dur... HICCUP!
- •I'd sing Foreigner's "Double Vision."I always come complete with a timely reference!
- •I'd choose "flight" over "fight."I'm half sane to realize that I don't want people to see me capsized.
- •I'd insult people in creative ways.Are you a mermaid, man? (Says to an amputee).
- •I'd wet myself.There's the barstool (toilet).
- •I'd convince myself to walk home.At least I have some sense left.
- •I'd yell out "Poison!" at every drink I saw.A healthy liver will help you flitter!
- •I'd sleep on the dance floor... standing up.I call this move, The Nap! 😴