Things That Are A Pain In My Caboose

My big, round Patootie y'all!
  1. Drama
    The only kind of drama I want to hear belongs on a stage.
  2. Flossing (and DJ Trump)
    Floss the teeth you want to keep? I brush them better than I can floss them. I also hate it when the dentist knows I haven't been flossing. Sometimes I think the dentist isn't truly a dentist. He's more of a soothsayer... for teeth. Sounds about as accurate as Trump.
  3. Mother (Who By The Way Counts As Three People, Let Alone Choices For This List)
    I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say mother knows at least 80% of what's best at best. The other 20% is miscellany when compared to my experience growing up, that I'm sure of.
  4. Mother Complaining About Something Trivial She Herself Finds Trivial
    For someone who hates the neighbors cat, you certainly like to talk about it every conversation we have. Is there no satisfying you?
  5. Mother Telling Me To Have A Love Interest
    Aren't you going to date? Don't you want to be married? Have kids? Mom, either you have to live vicariously through my sexscapades or you want me to have a happy relationship (by the way, I'd never say that to her face. Thank you I'll do it for you Mom. That sounds disgusting I know, but it came from a place of... okay never mind. (Love! I WAS GOING TO SAY LOVE!)
  6. Negativity
    Don't call it "being realistic" when you aren't giving a reason for what seems to be only your pessimism. This isn't you taking the higher ground by saying things that have not happened yet will happen. You and I do not know yet and until then I'm going to give my best.
  7. No One Takes Me Seriously
    This is really me venting to my family who joke around too much and when they themselves want to be taken seriously they get mad. Hypocritical, no? I play fair , but I guess they don't like how square I am.
  8. People Insisting I Work Too Hard
    Is that so? I could say the same thing and I bet you'd say I'm right. See ya lazy! I know people are looking out for me and I appreciate the sentiment. I just don't want to be caught not working hard because I do care.
  9. People Who Don't Read But Have Time (Barely) To Hear An Explanation From Someone Who Has
    It would be much more enjoyable if you read it with me. Too long didn't read? More like too "lazy" didn't read.
  10. Roommates
    No decorum, no sensibilities, no cares. If you treat your mates like you treat your room, I don't want to know them. It's too bad I already know you. I'd probably take Trump over you any day, no, every day.
  11. My Caboose
    I should stand up, my butt is numb.