What Not To Do In An Elevator
A confined space with a weight limit that vertically travels at the slowest rate of speed between intervals that may or may not become pitstops. Going up?
- •Fart and DartAlso dust cropping and just plain farting and saying nothing afterwards.
- •Become Best FriendsFor the duration of one floor ride.
- •Stare UnapologeticallyI'm not afraid to say I'm handsome, but does it have to result in an unwarranted amount of sexual tension?
- •Have SexYou have a room. If not, go get one. Also, sorry Aerosmith fans.
- •Talk About SexNo really, get a room.
- •Insist you can and will make roomI wish this was carry-on because I'd love to see you fly away.
- •Run for the door before it closesThere's another one just like it next to this one.
- •Talk on your cellphone/into your BluetoothYou're escapades or business ventures should be left behind before you get on.
- •Run Out FirstEven if you were closest to the door, at least have the courtesy to offer the rest to exit.
- •Drop/Place luggage on the floorI know, your belongings are precious but not precious enough to be another person.
- •Hum/WhistleI'd rather listen to muzak.
- •Not press the button for our floorYou could ask us, "Which floor?" if we are fluttering with our luggage.