Why I Enjoy (and Don't Enjoy) Being an Introvert
What I enjoy is ✔ and what I don't enjoy is 🚫
- •✔ Having my own internal narrator.I do keep to myself but I wouldn't say I'm reclusive. My thoughts go from a casual walk to a mild jog and finally to an exciting sprint. Oxymorons, ironies, quips, paradoxes, wordplay is putty for my imagination to mold. I would say I'm happy inside my mind, maybe more so than outside it at times. Expressing that inner happiness is something I cherish too, so the inside comes outside as often as it can.
- •🚫 Talking at great lengths.I'm not one to monologue but I do enjoy a well and good conversation. It's not that I won't talk to you, I just don't want to be persistent to the point I'm considered a pest. Presentations are a mixed feeling for me; once I start talking, they have to listen, but knowing that they're listening can be overwhelming just a tad.
- •✔ Being emotionally intelligent.I think with my feelings but I'm not blindsided by them. I understand certain priorities don't require any emotion but to those personal decisions, I reflect before I act in most cases. I also feel people could be more sensitive than their faces will show. Comedians are misunderstood for this but I can see how they use language ironically rather than derogatorily (they must understand the severity behind the joke in order to tell it). I'm just saying we're more than numbers and facts.
- •🚫 Being intellectually syphonedI know what I'm thinking when I say what I'm saying, but others need a simplified explanation when I thought my choice words were understood initially. Sometimes I expect more out of people on the receiving end but I can't assume too much of someone, or too little. I see it as a learning opportunity to those unaware but I can also see how others choose to remain ignorant either in spite of you or for self-interest which is something I do not agree with.
- •✔ Being with myself.I enjoy having some peace and quiet time. I'm happy to share in it, and this is not against anyone particularly, but having that time to reflect gives me a chance to improve without an audience. Although, there are those certain someones and types of people that I wouldn't indulge or give the time of day to, because it isn't a genuine conversation they are wanting to have with me. If they don't care, and they want to waste their time, they can do both without me.
- •🚫 Being alone or in groups for too long.No man is an island. He eventually must reconnect. I have to ease myself back into those connections before relinquishing who I am to the world. It's usually done indirectly, which is me waiting for someone to address me first instead of me making the first move. I am shy from "I don't want to be a bother" to the point of "I couldn't be bothered" but I don't mean it selfishly. I'm present, not absent, in an unassuming way. I can freeze up around strangers even if I'm with familiar company.
- •✔ My work ethicI have my own routine and sometimes people don't understand or respect it. I have to have my space and time to do my work the way I do it. I can precariously stack books or materials in weird places just within my reach but please don't question it. That's an answer you didn't think I had but I do. My routine can vary, whether it be near sunrise or after hours, it's just how it adapts and operates; it needs its own way of breathing.
- •🚫 Infringements on my workGoing out to eat, appointments, or anywhere time is spent other than my work can frustrate me. Sometimes I find those intervals unnecessary when I get invested and excited about my work. I don't usually tell others when this happens but if they wonder what's wrong, my explanation doesn't make sense to them. It's like nothing they've ever come across, at least to my definition, but I'm sure people had priorities they think to be priorities (which are more personal too) and know the same feeling.
- •✔ Having one-on-one conversationsI find it more effective and personal to talk with someone alone. Not only is it intimate, it is, for me, more comfortable. Rather than get secondhand accounts of what you think from a group, I get to hear it from you, the original material that counts. I don't favor groups as much as I do individuals; I like to hear your thoughts uninhibited, as do I.
- •🚫 Speaking on behalf of othersI trust myself to get a person's point of view across but it makes me uncomfortable to speak of them when they are away. It makes them and I less credible, and it would be easier if we were both there or if the person in question was asked in the first place. This too can relate to how I feel about working in a group.
- •✔ Being a voice of reasonI give advice from time to time when others find me kind and trust in my wisdom. I don't have guarantees and I only share what I feel works best as it has been an experience of mine or a situation I can dissect according to my own sense of it. I like it when people come to me and see me as a source for help and I don't mind that they ask. I don't expect anything in return, except a thank you.
- •🚫 Being taken advantage ofJust because I wear glasses and I do my best does not mean you get to lay back and relax in my shadow. I can't do everything for you. I can't be you for you. Not to be rude, but I won't give any effort where it's not being appreciated or used to better someone else, let alone yourself. I'm not doing it for my health, I'm doing it for everyone and then for myself to know that I did good, not nothing. I may be sensitive too but don't take me for a pushover. I will obstruct.
- •✔ Being soft spokenIt's not just an indoor voice. I would say it's somewhere between John Malkovich and Robert De Niro. I keep calm as best as I can and I don't take to drama like it's something to look forward to. I don't usually raise my octave any higher for anything and my excitement isn't loud. A smile or choice words would let you know, but inside it's peace like a river and a surfer on the waves all at once.
- •🚫 Being loudWhen I'm angered it's a quiet anger. You couldn't tell without asking but even still, I might not tell you. I can get defensive about something that matters to me you might not have thought of otherwise or were unaware of. It's me flying off the handle but the things that go overlooked that are things of mine or about me makes me wary and sometimes aloof. I don't yell for nothing and I end up raising my voice more than I want to. It's not out of spite but there's a gap that I wish wasn't there.
- •I need to reboot, as we all do, to stay on top of things. My sociability isn't exactly peaking confidence but I am certain of who I am and what I want. I don't doubt myself, I just have this tendency to stay in my comfort zone. It doesn't hinder me drastically, I think people see my sincerity and humble demeanor.
- •Although, I feel it shows some of my naivete and age but I think those aren't necessarily weaknesses. It also shows I mean well and that I do my best to be honest in everything I say and do. I have no reason to be disingenuous, it would only be harder on myself.
- •There's nothing wrong with being an introvert and it's just my way of presenting myself to others. It might confuse or even frustrate them, but that's no reason to stop loving who I am, even when I do get uncomfortable sometimes. I've managed a modest modus operandi so far and it works for me and I think it does for others.
- •Slowing down and seeing instead of looking is hard to come by in this rapid and progressive world. I know I can keep up because I can teach others to slow down. From my Batcave to the city of Gotham, here's to being an introvert.